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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The pie charts provide information about percentage of purchase in British schools in 1981 , 1991 and 2001.

The pie charts provide information about percentage of purchase in British schools in 1981 , 1991 and 2001.
The pie charts show information regarding the proportions of procurement in
Brittish
Correct your spelling
British
Use synonyms
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 from 1981 to 1991.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that most
aspect
Change to a plural noun
aspects
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 need that decline significantly
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 furniture and equipment. In 1981, the most
school
Use synonyms
 requirement that spend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
Use synonyms
fund is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
Teacher'
Fix the agreement mistake
Teachers'
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salaries
Use synonyms
 at 40%.
Then
Linking Words
 ten years later, the number of
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
salaries
Use synonyms
 increased gradually becomes 50%. Other top numbers
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 other workers'
salaries
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 job
salaries
Use synonyms
 fell suddenly
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 22%. After that, resources for education like books rose smoothly for ten years.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
less
Correct your spelling
lowest
show examples
 change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
school
Use synonyms
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
 is insurance which only transitioned from 2% to 3%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, salaries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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