Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

#university #education #job #hand #people #skills #side

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Higher

education

is necessary to develop the knowledge which students want to focus on. Some

people

believe that it is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

important factor to have a good career. Meanwhile, others argue that having more experience and

softskills

Correct your spelling

soft skills

soft-skills

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

way

more important.

While

some

people

argue that practical experience and

skills

are better, I side with those who believe that

university

Correct article usage

a university

show examples

degree is the best

way

for having

Change preposition

to have

show examples

a good career. College offers some focus that

are

Change the verb form

show examples

linked to some

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

that can not be obtained without attending formal

education

. Most of the

major

Fix the agreement mistake

majors

show examples

in STEM

are

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show examples

important to h materials and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

have the basic knowledge based on studying the theories that

people

should

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

understand before going into

professional

Add an article

a professional

show examples

working

system

Change the noun form

systems

show examples

such

as engineering, medical science, and others. In that

way

, no experiences can be done over completing the formal

education

, as they should be able to know the foundation that can

be implement

Change the verb form

be implemented

show examples

in their job later on.

Furthermore

, attending

university

also

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

to develop the soft

skills

that

Change the verb form

are

show examples

needed in the professional world

besides

practical

educations

Fix the agreement mistake

education

show examples

. Many higher-ups

also

have more intention to hire

university

graduates

instead

of those who have not completed the formal degree

due to

these reasons.

Firstly

, there are many opportunities that help students

Verb problem

apply

show examples

familiarize themselves

Change preposition

with

show examples

how

Correct word choice

what

show examples

does

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

look

Correct subject-verb agreement

looks

show examples

like before getting

job

Add an article

a job

show examples

such

organizations

Change preposition

as organizations

show examples

and

committee

Fix the agreement mistake

committees

show examples

Secondly

university

Add an article

the university

show examples

also

teaches

people

Change preposition

apply

show examples

how to interact and collaborate with

people

as type of the assignment given

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

mostly done in groups which is highly relevant to some basic soft

skills

in real-life working

system

Fix the agreement mistake

systems

show examples

such

as teamwork and leadership.

Lastly

Change preposition

apply

show examples

finishing the formal

education

shows how diligent they are and ready to contribute years as professionals. To summarize,

upon

Change preposition

apply

show examples

having experience and

softskills

Correct your spelling

skills

is necessary to get

a better employment options

Correct the article-noun agreement

a better employment option

better employment options

show examples

college

Add an article

a college

show examples

degree is crucial as a

way

to prove

applicants

Change preposition

to applicants

show examples

that they not only have the

skills

needed but

also

carry proper knowledge before entering the working system.

Submitted by pink panther on Sat Jan 13 2024

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Task Response

Ensure that the introduction provides a clearer outline of the essay structure and that the thesis statement is definitive and concise.

Task Response

Expanding on the examples provided with more detailed explanation or real-world scenarios would enhance argument strength and relevance.

Coherence Cohesion

Strive for a better organization of ideas and paragraphs to ensure there is a clear progression from one point to the next.

Task Response

Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and provides a clear final opinion.

Coherence Cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

331 words

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Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours,and they feel more stressed out than before. *What are the reasons for stress at the workplace? *What can employers do to make their employees's life easier?

Some people prefer to get up early and work in the morning. Others prefer to get up late and work until late at night. What do you prefer. Give reasons and examples to support your opinion

Nowadays many people work part or full time from home. Some people say that working from home has many benefits while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some say that the best way to help poor countries is financial aids. Other say other forms of aid should be given. Discuss both views and give your opinion

You have recently moved to a different house, and you want to give the news to an English-speaking friend who lives in another country. Write a letter to this English-speaking friend. In your letter, explain why you have moved describe the new house invite your friend to come and visit you

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours,and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons for stress at the workplace? What can employers do to make their employees's life easier?