completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#university #education #job #hand #people #skills

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Everyone

think

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thinks

show examples

when it comes to landing a good

job

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, there is an ongoing debate on whether getting a

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unversity

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university

degree

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or gaining a

practicical

Correct your spelling

practical

skill is more vital.

This

Linking Words

essay, will provide two sides of my opinion that people can mix both

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Correct article usage

a unversity

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unversity

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university

education

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and

develeping

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developing

soft

skills

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is te

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as the

show examples

best for

getting

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get

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a good

job

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. Obtaining a

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unversity

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university

education

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degree

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is commonly seen in

this

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modern world as the best way to

secare

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secure

a promising

job

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First,

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degree

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not only indicates specialised knowledge but

also

Linking Words

showcase

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showcases

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a person's commitment to have a

job

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in the future. For, instance, professions

such

Linking Words

educator

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education

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, medicine or engineering typically demand specific academic qualifications.

Second,

Linking Words

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

a unversity

show examples

unversity

Correct your spelling

university

degree

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is frequently used by employers as

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a cruciak

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cruciak

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crucial

screening

criterion

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criteria

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Futhermore

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Furthermore

, serving as a

relible

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reliable

measure of an individual's dedication and capability.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

excepitions

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exceptions

exsit

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exist

exit

, with certain successful leaders obtaining

theri

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their

there

posotions

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positions

through experiential learning rather than formal

education

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Finally

Linking Words

, the variety of

unversities

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universities

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degree

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degrees

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varies across industries,

its

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and its

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importance

oftern

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often

be influence

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be influenced

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by the nature of the

job

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and the preferences of the profile.

On the other hand

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, some people argue that practical experience and soft

skills

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are foremost for career success.

First,

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In fields like IT or creative

capanies

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companies

hands on

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hands-on

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expereinces

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experiences

experience

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are more

show examples

oftern

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often

that

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than

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outwiegh

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outweigh

outweighs

formal

weducation

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education

degree

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Such

Linking Words

a skilled programmes

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a skilled programme

skilled programmes

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may thrive with

projects

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project

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experiences.

Second,

Linking Words

soft

skills

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like communication and presenting

presentation

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presentations

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even teamwork in the field are important.For

exampple

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example

, as seen in leadership roles where interpersonal abilities are crucial for success.

Finally

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, take Steve Jobs, as a co-founder of Apple Company. Jobs,

examplifies

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exemplifies

this

Linking Words

perspective having dropped out of college to gain and

persue

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pursue

a practical

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practical skills

a practical skill

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skills

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techonology

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technology

. From my point of view, having

formal

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a formal

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education

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gives you a strong base and

hadns on

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hands-on

experience teaches people

real world

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real-world

show examples

skills

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. Being good at both helps to achieve even brighter things in

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job

Add an article

the job

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field and as a

well rounded

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well-rounded

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professional. In conclusion,

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is crystal clear that everyone

have

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has

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an opinion on how

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education

Correct article usage

an education

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degree

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and having soft

skills

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will lead

Change preposition

to a

show examples

different approach to the world

Correct your spelling

show examples

work place

Correct your spelling

the workplace

show examples

Submitted by alfred on Sat Jan 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay requires a more focused and organized structure. Paragraphs should be clearly divided, with each representing a unique viewpoint. However, the transition between ideas needs to be smoother and more logical. Paragraphing can be improved by starting on a new line for each new idea and improving the sentence connectors used for cohesion.

task achievement

In terms of task achievement, the essay should maintain its focus on the prompt throughout, ensuring all aspects of the question are addressed. It is imperative that the ideas presented are developed more comprehensively, with a clear progression of thoughts. Additionally, incorporating more relevant examples would aid in illustrating the points more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
55
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

353 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

theoretical knowledge
specialized training
networking
baseline requirement
financial burden
hands-on experience
practical skills
soft skills
dynamic job market
entrepreneur
formal education
portfolio
hybrid approach

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completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

it is believed that children from countries with high level of unemployment should be offered only primary education and should noy be offered secondary education as it unlikely that they will get a job in the future anyway. do you agree or disagree?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.