completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Everyone
think
Change the verb form
thinks
show examples
when it comes to landing a good
job
, there is an ongoing debate on whether getting a
unversity
Correct your spelling
university
degree
or gaining a
practicical
Correct your spelling
practical
skill is more vital.
This
essay, will provide two sides of my opinion that people can mix both
Correct article usage
a unversity
show examples
unversity
Correct your spelling
university
education
and
develeping
Correct your spelling
developing
soft
skills
is te
Correct your spelling
as the
show examples
best for
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
a good
job
. Obtaining a
unversity
Correct your spelling
university
education
degree
is commonly seen in
this
modern world as the best way to
secare
Correct your spelling
secure
a promising
job
.
First,
a
degree
not only indicates specialised knowledge but
also
showcase
Correct subject-verb agreement
showcases
show examples
a person's commitment to have a
job
in the future. For, instance, professions
such
as
educator
Replace the word
education
show examples
, medicine or engineering typically demand specific academic qualifications.
Second,
Correct article usage
a unversity
show examples
unversity
Correct your spelling
university
degree
is frequently used by employers as
Correct article usage
a cruciak
show examples
cruciak
Correct your spelling
crucial
screening
criterion
Fix the agreement mistake
criteria
show examples
.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, serving as a
relible
Correct your spelling
reliable
measure of an individual's dedication and capability.
Nevertheless
,
excepitions
Correct your spelling
exceptions
do
exsit
Correct your spelling
exist
exit
, with certain successful leaders obtaining
theri
Correct your spelling
their
there
posotions
Correct your spelling
positions
through experiential learning rather than formal
education
.
Finally
, the variety of
unversities
Correct your spelling
universities
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
varies across industries,
its
Correct word choice
and its
show examples
importance
oftern
Correct your spelling
often
to
be influence
Change the verb form
be influenced
show examples
by the nature of the
job
and the preferences of the profile.
On the other hand
, some people argue that practical experience and soft
skills
are foremost for career success.
First,
In fields like IT or creative
capanies
Correct your spelling
companies
,
hands on
Add a hyphen
hands-on
show examples
expereinces
Correct your spelling
experiences
experience
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
oftern
Correct your spelling
often
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
outwiegh
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs
formal
weducation
Correct your spelling
education
degree
.
Such
as
a skilled programmes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a skilled programme
skilled programmes
show examples
may thrive with
projects
Change the noun form
project
show examples
experiences.
Second,
soft
skills
like communication and presenting
presentation
Fix the agreement mistake
presentations
show examples
even teamwork in the field are important.For
exampple
Correct your spelling
example
, as seen in leadership roles where interpersonal abilities are crucial for success.
Finally
, take Steve Jobs, as a co-founder of Apple Company. Jobs,
examplifies
Correct your spelling
exemplifies
this
perspective having dropped out of college to gain and
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
a practical
Correct the article-noun agreement
practical skills
a practical skill
show examples
skills
in
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
. From my point of view, having
formal
Correct article usage
a formal
show examples
education
gives you a strong base and
hadns on
Correct your spelling
hands-on
experience teaches people
real world
Add a hyphen
real-world
show examples
skills
. Being good at both helps to achieve even brighter things in
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
field and as a
well rounded
Add a hyphen
well-rounded
show examples
professional. In conclusion,
I
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
is crystal clear that everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
an opinion on how
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
degree
and having soft
skills
will lead
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
different approach to the world
pf
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
work place
Correct your spelling
the workplace
show examples
.
Submitted by alfred on

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coherence cohesion
The essay requires a more focused and organized structure. Paragraphs should be clearly divided, with each representing a unique viewpoint. However, the transition between ideas needs to be smoother and more logical. Paragraphing can be improved by starting on a new line for each new idea and improving the sentence connectors used for cohesion.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, the essay should maintain its focus on the prompt throughout, ensuring all aspects of the question are addressed. It is imperative that the ideas presented are developed more comprehensively, with a clear progression of thoughts. Additionally, incorporating more relevant examples would aid in illustrating the points more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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