completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#university #education #job #hand #people #skills

Everyone

think

Change the verb form

thinks

show examples

when it comes to landing a good

job

, there is an ongoing debate on whether getting a

unversity

Correct your spelling

university

degree

or gaining a

practicical

Correct your spelling

practical

skill is more vital.

This

essay, will provide two sides of my opinion that people can mix both

Correct article usage

a unversity

show examples

unversity

Correct your spelling

university

education

and

develeping

Correct your spelling

developing

soft

skills

is te

Correct your spelling

as the

show examples

best for

getting

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

a good

job

. Obtaining a

unversity

Correct your spelling

university

education

degree

is commonly seen in

this

modern world as the best way to

secare

Correct your spelling

secure

a promising

job

First,

degree

not only indicates specialised knowledge but

also

showcase

Correct subject-verb agreement

showcases

show examples

a person's commitment to have a

job

in the future. For, instance, professions

such

educator

Replace the word

education

show examples

, medicine or engineering typically demand specific academic qualifications.

Second,

Correct article usage

a unversity

show examples

unversity

Correct your spelling

university

degree

is frequently used by employers as

Correct article usage

a cruciak

show examples

cruciak

Correct your spelling

crucial

screening

criterion

Fix the agreement mistake

criteria

show examples

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, serving as a

relible

Correct your spelling

reliable

measure of an individual's dedication and capability.

Nevertheless

excepitions

Correct your spelling

exceptions

exsit

Correct your spelling

exist

exit

, with certain successful leaders obtaining

theri

Correct your spelling

their

there

posotions

Correct your spelling

positions

through experiential learning rather than formal

education

Finally

, the variety of

unversities

Correct your spelling

universities

degree

Fix the agreement mistake

degrees

show examples

varies across industries,

its

Correct word choice

and its

show examples

importance

oftern

Correct your spelling

often

be influence

Change the verb form

be influenced

show examples

by the nature of the

job

and the preferences of the profile.

On the other hand

, some people argue that practical experience and soft

skills

are foremost for career success.

First,

In fields like IT or creative

capanies

Correct your spelling

companies

hands on

Add a hyphen

hands-on

show examples

expereinces

Correct your spelling

experiences

experience

Add a missing verb

are more

show examples

oftern

Correct your spelling

often

that

Correct word choice

than

show examples

outwiegh

Correct your spelling

outweigh

outweighs

formal

weducation

Correct your spelling

education

degree

Such

a skilled programmes

Correct the article-noun agreement

a skilled programme

skilled programmes

show examples

may thrive with

projects

Change the noun form

project

show examples

experiences.

Second,

soft

skills

like communication and presenting

presentation

Fix the agreement mistake

presentations

show examples

even teamwork in the field are important.For

exampple

Correct your spelling

example

, as seen in leadership roles where interpersonal abilities are crucial for success.

Finally

, take Steve Jobs, as a co-founder of Apple Company. Jobs,

examplifies

Correct your spelling

exemplifies

this

perspective having dropped out of college to gain and

persue

Correct your spelling

pursue

a practical

Correct the article-noun agreement

practical skills

a practical skill

show examples

skills

techonology

Correct your spelling

technology

. From my point of view, having

formal

Correct article usage

a formal

show examples

education

gives you a strong base and

hadns on

Correct your spelling

hands-on

experience teaches people

real world

Add a hyphen

real-world

show examples

skills

. Being good at both helps to achieve even brighter things in

job

Add an article

the job

show examples

field and as a

well rounded

Add a hyphen

well-rounded

show examples

professional. In conclusion,

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

is crystal clear that everyone

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

an opinion on how

education

Correct article usage

an education

show examples

degree

and having soft

skills

will lead

Change preposition

to a

show examples

different approach to the world

Correct your spelling

show examples

work place

Correct your spelling

the workplace

show examples

Submitted by alfred on Sat Jan 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay requires a more focused and organized structure. Paragraphs should be clearly divided, with each representing a unique viewpoint. However, the transition between ideas needs to be smoother and more logical. Paragraphing can be improved by starting on a new line for each new idea and improving the sentence connectors used for cohesion.

task achievement

In terms of task achievement, the essay should maintain its focus on the prompt throughout, ensuring all aspects of the question are addressed. It is imperative that the ideas presented are developed more comprehensively, with a clear progression of thoughts. Additionally, incorporating more relevant examples would aid in illustrating the points more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
55Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

353 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

theoretical knowledge
specialized training
networking
baseline requirement
financial burden
hands-on experience
practical skills
soft skills
dynamic job market
entrepreneur
formal education
portfolio
hybrid approach

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completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays,most of the information is available on the internet, whereas in the past, knowledge was stored in books and on paper. Do you think that advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantage

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air ticket and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Other says that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.