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Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The presented diagram delineates the day and night production of electricity a four stages. First of all , we can analyse that clearly at
firs
Correct your spelling
first
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 glance the production of hydroelectric is
cycial
Correct your spelling
cynical
cyclical
 and consists of four main parts namely
High-llevel
Correct your spelling
High-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
, flow of
water
Use synonyms
 power station and low-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
. The
process
Use synonyms
 begins when the
water
Use synonyms
 flows from the river into
high-level
Correct article usage
a high-level
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reservoir
Use synonyms
 and
end
Correct subject-verb agreement
ends
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 with
transmission
Add an article
the transmission
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 of electricity to the national grid.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 looking
the
Change preposition
at the
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 day stage of the
process
Use synonyms
 we encounter channelling the river
water
Use synonyms
 into a high-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
 backed up by a dam.
Besides
Linking Words
, intake is open. The generated electricity is
then
Linking Words
 sent to a national grid through power lines
while
Linking Words
 the excess
water
Use synonyms
 runs to a low-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
. The night stage of
Use synonyms
process
Add an article
the process
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begin
Change the verb form
begins
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 their
process
Use synonyms
 in
low-level
Add an article
the low-level
a low-level
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reservoir
Use synonyms
. The
water
Use synonyms
 stored in the low-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
 is reverted to the power station and the turbines of the generator pump ,
thus
Linking Words
, it back into the high-level
reservoir
Use synonyms
 which is closed during the night .
Consequently
Linking Words
, The river
water
Use synonyms
 is stored at the
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
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reserviour
Correct your spelling
reservoir
.
Overall
Linking Words
, The cycling of
electricty
Correct your spelling
electricity
maintain
Change the verb form
maintains
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 journey
with
Change preposition
at
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this
Linking Words
 stage.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words reservoir, water, process with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • hydroelectric power station
  • reservoir
  • potential energy
  • mechanical energy
  • electrical energy
  • turbine
  • generator
  • renewable energy
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • power lines
  • gate-controlled tunnels
  • gravity-driven
  • transformation
  • clean energy source
  • sustainable
  • recycled water
  • mountainous area
  • activate
  • transmit
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