IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
nowadays, the development of technology can change our lives
adn
Correct your spelling
and
 lifestyles.
such
Linking Words
 as
economical
Replace the word
economics
show examples
, industry and many more.
moreover
Linking Words
,
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
businesses
 and
shops
Use synonyms
 have
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
 changes impact
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
technology
Change preposition
of technology
show examples
. some
people
Use synonyms
 believe the growth of online shopping
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 bad effects for all
shops
Use synonyms
 in town. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion,
in
Correct word choice
and in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay I will support my opinion with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
examples.
firstly
Linking Words
, from
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
show examples
 years ago
people
Use synonyms
eagerness
Replace the word
have been eager
show examples
 to create
easily
Replace the word
an easy
show examples
 and
simply
Change the word
simple
show examples
 way
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 living.
people
Use synonyms
 busy with their job
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have any time go to
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
in addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 compete to make apps for
hepls
Correct your spelling
help
 they need.
for example
Linking Words
, amazon, shopee,
lazada
Correct word choice
and lazada
show examples
those
Add a missing verb
are those
show examples
 apps
witness
Correct pronoun usage
that witness
show examples
 from development of
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
.
Linking Words
as
Capitalize word
As
show examples
 well as that from
thoose
Correct your spelling
those
 apps we can
shops
Use synonyms
 in
easier
Add an article
an easier
the easier
show examples
 way like
piece
Add an article
a piece
show examples
 of cake.
furthermore
Linking Words
, we have a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
 various models and styles for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example you can search
skrit
Correct your spelling
skirt
,
tshirt
Correct your spelling
t-shirt
,and many more only through the website.
for
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
 you can spend less time and
also
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 is
effortlesly
Correct your spelling
effortless
effortlessly
 to do.
moreover
Linking Words
, there is research
74,5
Correct word choice
that 74,5
show examples
%
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
like
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
 online
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 offline like what I
metion in
Verb problem
mentioned
show examples
 above. with
this
Linking Words
 in
mind
Add a comma
mind,
show examples
 I wouldn't
suprising
Correct your spelling
surprising
 if
shops
Use synonyms
 in the cities
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 close. despite
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
above
Add a comma
above,
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 have their own
refrence
Correct your spelling
reference
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
 way. some
peole
Correct your spelling
people
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
like to
Use synonyms
shops
Wrong verb form
shop
show examples
 from the store,
shops
Use synonyms
 from the store
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 can
tried
Change the verb form
be tried
try
show examples
 what they want.
moreover
Linking Words
, they can see the material of
skirt
Fix the agreement mistake
skirts
show examples
, shoes, or
shirt
Fix the agreement mistake
shirts
show examples
. in conclusion, developments in technology have advantages and
disatvanges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
it's depends
Change the verb form
it depends
show examples
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 we deal with
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.

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Improvement Suggestions

6
coherence cohesion

Ensure the essay has a clear introduction that presents the topic and your viewpoint, followed by body paragraphs that each cover a single idea with supporting examples, and conclude with a summary that reaffirms your stance.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical progression of ideas by planning the structure of the essay before writing. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by supporting sentences that are directly related to it.

coherence cohesion

Use a range of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'firstly', 'moreover', 'for example', and 'in conclusion'. Ensure they are used appropriately to show the relationship between ideas.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task to provide a complete response. Clearly present your opinion and discuss it throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.

task achievement

Develop clear and comprehensive main ideas. Expand on your viewpoints with specific details and examples to demonstrate a full understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Incorporate relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. These examples should be well-chosen and clearly linked to the point you're making.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
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