IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart and table below give information about population figures in japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart and table below give information about population figures in japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given bar graph and table show the data of
Japan
Change noun form
Japan's
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 between 1950 and
prediction
Correct article usage
the prediction
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 2055 and the table
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 the proportion of Japanese people in age over
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
65s. The units were measured in millions and
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
population
Use synonyms
.
Overal
Correct your spelling
Overall
show examples
, it can be clearly seen the
population
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased gradually until 2005 and afterwards the figure will
dropped
Change the verb form
drop
show examples
 significantly. Meanwhile, the proportion and percentage of senior citizens over 65 was
rise
Wrong verb form
rising
show examples
 and predicted will grow
significanly
Correct your spelling
significantly
. As the graph shows, from 1950 to 2005, the number of
population
Use synonyms
was grew
Change the verb form
grew
show examples
 gradually from 84.1 to its peak point at 127.8.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, in 2010 and 2015, the figure began to
dropped
Change the verb
drop
show examples
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 127.1 and 125.4, respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the predictions of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 will go down in 2035
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 110 and
2055
Change preposition
in 2055
show examples
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 89.9. Regarding the table of
old
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
with
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
over 65s years old, in 1950 the total
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
accounted for 4.1
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 or 4.9% of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
population
Use synonyms
. After 55 years, the figure
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose more than six times to 25,7
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and 20 of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
population
Use synonyms
. In the future, the projection of
this
Linking Words
 age group will
rocketed
Change the verb form
rocket
be rocketed
show examples
 to 37.2 in 2035 and 36.2 in 2055. The share of elderly people
also
Linking Words
 increased to 34% and 41%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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