IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The diagrams below show the main reasons workers chose to work from home and the hours males and females worked at home for the year 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the main reasons workers chose to work from home and the hours males and females worked at home for the year 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #workers #work #home #hours #males #females #year #information #features #comparisons
The bar charts provide information about the major reasons to choose graft from their houses by the employees in hours for both adult genders in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2019.In overview, the largest portion of the graphs
occupied
Add a missing verb
was occupied
show examples
 by those who preferred to work from their homes,
this
 was because they wanted to save more cash,
while
 others
offer
Wrong verb form
offered
show examples
 productivity and taking care of children.
To begin
 with, the main reason is shown when more males saved
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 salaries for their future use in their lives with a percentage of 45.
Furthermore
, females
also
 accommodate about 42% of savings and use it in the long run.
Moreover
, gents
also
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
almost
Correct article usage
an almost
show examples
larger
Correct article usage
a larger
show examples
 part in
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
 division compared to ladies with 24 per cent and 11% respectively.
This
 means that in
production
Add an article
the production
show examples
 sector,
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 are stronger than women. To add on, wives were responsible for the toddlers,
while
 males
not
Add a missing verb
were not
show examples
 good
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 keeping sons and daughters.
Lastly
,
this
 is clearly evidenced
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a great difference of 26%
as well as
 4% respectively and
gentlemens
Correct your spelling
gentlemen
gentlemen's
 decreased at every stage constantly.
Submitted by cajaah93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: