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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below give information about the world’s top three producers of four different dairy products in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about the world’s top three producers of four different dairy products in 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #world’s #three #producers #four #dairy #products #summarise #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the data of the four types
dairy
Change preposition
of dairy
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 production by the
world
Change noun form
world's
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 top three producers in 2012.
It is clear that
 The European Union was always in the top three manufacturers for all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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of
Change preposition
apply
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the dairy products. And
milk
 was produced in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher number than others. To be specific with the information about
milk
 and
cheese
 production statistics, The EU took the lead as the greatest producer, which was 142,9MT and 7,12MT for
milk
 and
cheese
. The United States was
also
 a big player in these two products, which produced just slightly over 90MT for
milk
 and almost 5MT for
cheese
. India
proceed
Wrong verb form
proceeded
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127MT
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with 127MT
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milk
 which turned it
as
Change preposition
into
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 the second top
producers
Fix the agreement mistake
producer
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.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
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 about 700kg
cheese
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of cheese
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produced
Add a missing verb
is produced
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 by Brazil as the third big producer. Turning to the data of butter and
milk
 powder, it can be seen that the producers were dominantly taken by India and China, 4,5MT and 1,2MT separately. The rest of
quantity
Correct article usage
the quantity
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 filled by the US and The UN,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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was 810kg and 770kg respectively.
Submitted by dyahkusumaningrum18 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words milk, cheese, mt with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Dairy products
  • Producers
  • Cheese
  • Butter
  • Skimmed milk powder
  • Whole milk powder
  • Global production
  • Metric tonnes
  • Leading
  • Specialize
  • Volume
  • Trends
  • Geographical distribution
  • Significant
  • Comparisons
  • Dominate
  • Sector
  • Diversity
  • Contribution
  • Agricultural output
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