ACADEMIC WRITING TASK 2 Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? WRITE AT LEAST 250 WORDS
Many
people
are buying a
high-price Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
things
by debting
because they can not afford Correct your spelling
debiting
it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
This
bad habbit
Correct your spelling
habit
habits
need
to Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
be solve
since there are a lot of Change the verb form
be solved
people
that have no ability to finish it in a period. The following paragraph will give an explanation of the people
’s mindset of minimalist life and how the government’s law about online-debting
can solve the problem.
Nowadays, Correct your spelling
online dating
people
can purchase everything they want just by online-debting
. Correct your spelling
online dating
This
bad behavior
is Change the spelling
behaviour
increasngly
Correct your spelling
increasingly
spreadning
since there are a lot of ways for Correct your spelling
spreading
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
to borrow money just by the financial application installed on their smartphone. For instance
, Shopeepay later that
can be used to buy anything on its marketplace. Correct determiner usage
apply
Therefore
, the
Correct article usage
apply
people
can be easily pick
the Change the verb form
easily pick
things
they want if they have registered
as Wrong verb form
register
a
Correct article usage
apply
member
of Shopeepay later.
As a prevent, the government and its Fix the agreement mistake
members
citizen
need to Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
colaborate
. On the way of the government, they need to regulate what type of Correct your spelling
collaborate
things
that
can be easily debted by Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
. For example
, the ministry
of Capitalize word
Ministry
trade
Capitalize word
Trade
create
a standard of Wrong verb form
created
things
that can be paid by
Change preposition
for by
online-debting
. Correct your spelling
online debting
Besides
, people
have to set their mindset that having a
high-price Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
things
is not really important. The high-price things
only make they
seems rich not make them rich.
In conclusion, Correct pronoun usage
them
online-debting
is Correct your spelling
online dating
a
bad Remove the article
apply
behavior
and Change the spelling
behaviour
have
to Correct subject-verb agreement
has
regulated
by the government to make it more complex. The Add a missing verb
be regulated
people
that
plan to borrow the money could be doubt and think doubly to do it. Correct pronoun usage
who
Also
, the
Correct article usage
apply
people
need to be wise to choose what they want and what they need.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a minimal level of coherence and cohesion. Logical structure is weak, which hampers the flow of information. It is essential to develop clear connections between your ideas, using paragraphs effectively to separate different points. Transitional phrases can help guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they should be more elaborate, with a clear thesis statement and summary of main points. These are pivotal components that showcase your understanding of the task and your ability to wrap up your thoughts cohesively.
coherence cohesion
While you have outlined some main points, they need further support and elaboration. Your essay should include clear and developed arguments, with examples to substantiate your claims. Consider introducing real-world scenarios or statistics that add weight to your argument.
task achievement
Your response to the prompt is incomplete and superficial. A thorough answer would engage with all aspects of the question, including the causes behind the behavior and specific actions to address the issue. Delve deeper into each point to demonstrate a complete understanding and provide a comprehensive response.
task achievement
Though your essay contains some ideas, they are not explained in depth. Write comprehensive paragraphs that fully discuss each notion with clarity and precision. Remember, ideas should be distinct and well explored to give the reader full understanding of your perspective.
task achievement
Your essay lacks specific examples to support the arguments made, which are critical for task achievement. Draw on relevant, detailed examples to illustrate your points better. This can include case studies, anecdotes, or hypothetical situations that are directly related to the prompt.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
