IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opionion.

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In
this
Linking Words
 modern state of
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globalisation
Add a comma
globalisation,
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 there are many interactions across different
cultures
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, especially when it involves people crossing national borders. Cultural adaptation needs to be done either by the visitors or the host
country
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. In my opinion, both
scenario
Change to a plural noun
scenarios
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 are inevitable in the context of
globalisation
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,
this
Linking Words
 essay will
further
Linking Words
 explain
on
Change preposition
apply
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these scenarios. When visiting
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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other countries, people should be aware of and respect the local customs. By doing
this
Linking Words
, uncomfortable situations and conflicts could be avoided. Take
a dressing
Correct the article-noun agreement
a dressing culture
dressing cultures
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cultures
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for example
Linking Words
, there are certain
cultures
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 that dress more modestly than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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others. If we
are happen
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happen
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 to
visit
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 that
country
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, we should adjust
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how we dress so that they don't find our behaviour offensive. Adjuting to other
cultures
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 is
also
Linking Words
 a
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
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 to build an inter-cultural relationship which is an important part of
globalisation
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. A visitor should bear the responsibility to adjust with the locals if they want the
visit
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 to have positive implications.
However
Linking Words
, cultural adjustment should not only be done in
a
Correct article usage
one
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 one-way. When the number of visitors is huge,
for instance
Linking Words
, in the case of migration or tourism,
then
Linking Words
 the host
country
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 should embrace the differences and
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 them.
This
Linking Words
 will ensure visitors will enjoy their
visit
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 and in return will provide a positive impact
to
Change preposition
on
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 their nation.
For example
Linking Words
, tourists who enjoy their
visit
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 would spend more during their trip or a
country
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 which needs foreign
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
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 will have to make their culture more welcoming. As a host
country
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, welcoming other
cultures
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 will be necessary in order to capitalise on the benefit of
globalisation
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. In conclusion, adjusting
cultures
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 by both parties will be unavoidable either deliberately or not. If we happen to do so,
then
Linking Words
cross border
Add a hyphen
cross-border
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 interactions will certainly have more positive implications in it.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the subsequent sentences support that idea effectively.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to strengthen the arguments made in the essay. This will help in both task achievement and coherence.
task achievement
Keep working on fully addressing the task, ensuring that both views and your own opinion are clearly discussed. Make sure that the opinion is stated in the introduction, developed, and then briefly reiterated in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitions between sentences and paragraphs to ensure that the essay flows smoothly and ideas are logically connected.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster mutual understanding
  • reverence
  • cultural clashes
  • peaceful coexistence
  • cultural immersion
  • authentic experience
  • cultural identity
  • enrich
  • pluralistic society
  • cultural exchange
  • tolerance
  • flexibility
  • international relations
  • global understanding
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