IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think employers should not pay attention to the way their employees dress. Because the quality of their work is more important. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society believes that employers should not care about the dressing
way
Use synonyms
 of their workers, rather than their working skills.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I disagree
on
Change preposition
with
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this
Linking Words
 opinion. I believe that the
way
Use synonyms
 of dressing can benefit a
business
Use synonyms
 in many ways.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the most important fact is that having a proper dress code will give an identity to the
business
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, most of the
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
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businessess
Correct your spelling
businesses
 offer
an
Change the article
a
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 uniform to their employees.
Due to
Linking Words
 the fact that wearing that uniform will give a proper appearance to the
business
Use synonyms
. As they can be highlighted
in
Change preposition
apply
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anywhere as their workers.
For instance
Linking Words
, uber offers
an t-shirts
Correct the article-noun agreement
t-shirts
a t-shirt
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 to their riders
hence
Linking Words
, anyone will know about their delivery service
in
Change preposition
apply
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anywhere.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is
way
Use synonyms
 easier to provide their service to their clients. Wearing a proper dress will give a better view to the buyers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it will be easy for customers to find a worker between
crowd
Fix the agreement mistake
crowds
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 of people. The places like clothing stores,
shopping
Correct word choice
and shopping
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 malls it is really hard to find a helper
hence
Linking Words
 there are
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of people around. But if they have a unique dress code it is
way
Use synonyms
 easier for the customers to find them.
For example
Linking Words
, Odell helpers wear a black coloured trouser and
Add an article
a t-shirt
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t-shirt
Capitalize word
T-shirt
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 with their batch on so they can be easier to
found
Wrong verb form
find
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. In conclusion, it is a
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
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 truth that working quality is more important but the
way
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 of dressing can offer a better view
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the world. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it can offer an identity to the
business
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 it will be
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
 to the customers in many ways.

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Introduction
Develop a more comprehensive introduction that clearly presents your viewpoint and outlines the main points that will be discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraph structures to improve the logical flow and structure of the essay.
Task Achievement
Provide more detailed examples and expand on explanations to support your main points for a more thorough task response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • attire
  • similarity
  • productivity
  • job satisfaction
  • discrimination
  • bias
  • cultural backgrounds
  • professionalism
  • creativity
  • brand image
  • customer confidence
  • responsibility
  • workplace
  • relationship
  • flexibility
  • innovative
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