Teenagers nowadays spend too much time on playing video games. Describe the effects on teenagers, families and society. Report the measures to solve the problem.

Video
consoles
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
a strong influence
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
adolescents and their surroundings.
This
essay will discuss how
this
happens and the suitable way to overcome it. Online games are addictive for youngsters as they can cling to
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
for a long period of time without a break and neglect their main responsibilities.
For instance
, children engage with online matches non-stop and they end up not having enough time to either do their assignments or socialize with family members.
Consequently
, if
this
phenomenon continues, it will cause
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
long-term damage
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
their school grades and family
bond
Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
show examples
.
Hence
,
video
games indirectly affect adolescents'
school works
Correct your spelling
schoolwork
show examples
as well as
social lives.
Therefore
, parents have a pivotal role in teaching juveniles
regarding
Change preposition
about
show examples
the boundaries
according to
video
matches so that they understand when to start and stop playing as self-awareness is excellent
to tackle
Change preposition
for tackling
show examples
this
issue in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long-run
Correct your spelling
long run
show examples
.
For example
, children are allowed to use the computer for
video
gaming as long as their
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
thoroughly done and must engage
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
family activities, namely dinner and movie nights.
Thus
, it will
unconciously
Correct your spelling
unconsciously
grow their self-belonging from within and eventually minimize their addiction. In conclusion, the extreme decline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
school grades and lack of social interactions with family are the crucial
impact
Change the noun form
impacts
show examples
of online
consoles
Change the noun form
console
show examples
addiction.
Accordingly
, parents are the major milestone
to educate
Change preposition
in educating
show examples
juveniles about self-control.
Submitted by pink panther on

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task achievement
Include a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that directly addresses both the negative effects and solutions.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, with each one dedicated to a specific point. Introduce, explain, give an example, and conclude each point to improve coherence.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to strengthen your main points; specifically, provide more detailed scenarios or real-life cases to showcase the effects of video gaming on teenagers, families, and society.
coherence cohesion
Link your ideas more effectively by using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to guide the reader smoothly through your essay.
coherence cohesion
Restate your main points in the conclusion more clearly, and ensure that you reinforce your thesis rather than introducing new ideas at this stage.
task achievement
For a higher score, make sure to fully address all parts of the prompt, including the societal effects of teenagers' gaming habits, which were not comprehensively covered in the essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive effects
  • Physical inactivity
  • Video game addiction
  • Social impairment
  • Communication breakdown
  • Financial strain
  • Juvenile delinquency
  • Academic performance
  • Cultural norms
  • Parental control
  • Time management
  • Alternative hobbies
  • Support groups
  • Counseling services
  • Balanced lifestyle
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