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Band 4

The leaders or directors of organisations are often older people. Some people think that young people can also be good leaders. Do you agree or disagree?

#leaders #directors #organisations #people
Leader
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The leader
A leader
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 plays a big part in a certain community that they
handled
Wrong verb form
handle
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.
While
 many of the great
one
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ones
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 before us are older, some people might
thought
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think
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 that a better change could
be make
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be made
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 by young people that deserve the title.
This
 essay will discuss how I genuinely agree with the statement. First and foremost, we can not neglect the fact that the new generation mostly follows the latest trends. As an example, many internet sensations in social media (e.g. TikTok and Instagram) are ruled and produced by teenagers and young adults who are serious about
this
 matter.
Consequently
,
this
 means that there are some possibilities that young directors can handle more mainstream issues that are popular in
this
 modern age.
By contrast
, it is substantial for us to accept that most of our population consists of younger individuals.
For instance
, in Indonesia, we agree to a certain part that more than half of the voters in the next presidential election are the new ones who have not experienced
this
 event before.
Subsequently
,
this
 area of mankind might find it more helpful to choose their government by how relatable they are. In conclusion,
although
 experiences might have some connection regarding
of
Change preposition
apply
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how old a person can be, it is important for us to see the quality of their work.
Instead
 of judging someone by how long have they lived, we can observe their past works by how they managed an obstacle before.
Submitted by adrianafitrizkisiri on

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and clearly outline your position on it. Each body paragraph should focus on a single main idea and be well-developed and supported with examples. The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position without introducing new information.
cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, use linking words and phrases appropriately to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Make sure the essay flows logically and that each paragraph builds on the one before it.
task response
To fully respond to the task, develop your ideas comprehensively, presenting a balanced argument with examples for each. It is crucial to directly address the statement and offer clear reasons for your agreement or disagreement throughout the essay.
language
Incorporate a range of complex sentence structures and demonstrate lexical resource by using a varied vocabulary. Avoid repetition of words and phrases to make your writing more sophisticated and engaging.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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