Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Although
it is sometimes thought that those who are studying
higher-education
Correct your spelling
higher education
show examples
should only aim for qualification, other people believe that other
subjects
ought to be
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
thought
tough
beside
Change preposition
besides
show examples
the main lessons. from my point of view, it would be in all our interests if
students
learn about different
fields
and
subjects
throughout their studies. To achieve a clear picture;
this
matter requires
further
examination
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
a wider context. On the one hand, it is mistakenly alleged that if
students
learn about new things during their
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
be distracted and will not be able to handle
thier
Correct your spelling
their
major.
However
,
pupils
can manage
thier
Correct your spelling
their
time and enroll in different interesting classes.
Moreover
,
this
assumption claims that when
students
choose a field of
study
, they should become
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
that field and there would be enough experts in different
fields
that there would be no need for
students
with different majors. These claims are too tough and rigid to become popular and
then
practical.
On the other hand
, learning new
subjects
is to
pupils
, what breathing fresh air is to
human-beings
Correct your spelling
human beings
show examples
. Enrolling in different classes can,
therefore
, expand student's
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
and broaden their horizons.The salient point to note here is that
students
who research in various
fields
are seen to be more excited about their qualifications, and the more examinations of various
subjects
they do, the more they can
study
for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
own lessons. Many scientists have lived throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history who had alterations in their field of
study
because by examining other sources from other
subjects
they reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the point that they might be more successful in other
fields
.
Hence
, if we do not allow
pupils
to read about various
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
they might not become
flourished
Change the form of the verb
flourishing
show examples
in the future. In conclusion,
while
I can understand why some believe
students
should only
study
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
exams, I find it more useful for
pupils
to have
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
in various
fields
of
study
.
Submitted by alifarzaneh on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, each with a specific purpose. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to signal what the paragraph will be about.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop your main points by adding more specific details and examples to support your arguments. Incorporate a range of linking words to show the relationship between ideas and help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Task Achievement
Expand on the ideas presented by giving more specific examples from your own experience or other credible sources. This can help illustrate your arguments and make them more convincing.
Task Achievement
Work on the clarity and development of your ideas, ensuring that every point is fully explained and relates directly to the question prompt. Aim to have a clear position throughout the essay, with a balance of explanation and specific examples.
General
Pay attention to the accuracy of your language, including grammar, vocabulary, and spelling. Errors can hinder communication and make your argument less clear. Proofreading your essay can help eliminate these errors.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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