Computer games and films containing violence are popular today. Some people think that these are harmful for our society and the government should ban them. Other argue that such games and films are fun for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#computer #games #films #violence #people #society #government #ban #fun #entertainment

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Visual game plays and

movies

Use synonyms

which have

Use synonyms

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

content

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

widely spread among

people

Use synonyms

. Some

people

Use synonyms

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that it does have damaging effects

for

Change preposition

show examples

world

Add an article

the world

show examples

and it should be banned from

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

while

Linking Words

others believe that they are amusing for the

people

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of the former. On the one hand, many

people

Use synonyms

may find watching brutal

movies

Use synonyms

or playing video

games

Use synonyms

with aggressive details amusing.

Due to

Linking Words

the fast-changing and competitive world, many individuals are reluctant to have spare time.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, playing

games

Use synonyms

and watching

movies

Use synonyms

which is

Verb problem

that

show examples

involved

Replace the word

involve

show examples

violence

Use synonyms

makes them not only unwind but

also

Linking Words

entertained.

Hence

Linking Words

, that's why some

people

Use synonyms

believe that

such

Linking Words

games

Use synonyms

and

movies

Use synonyms

are fun for amusing.

On the other hand

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

can have long-lasting detrimental effects on

children

Use synonyms

In other words

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

growing up watching or playing

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

in this

show examples

kind of context could not have a positive attitude

through

Change preposition

throughout

show examples

their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

which

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

increasing

Add an article

the increasing

an increasing

show examples

rate of crime among the generation that has grown up in

violence

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, nowadays

children

Use synonyms

tend to play action video

games

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that stimulate a world without any

limitation

Fix the agreement mistake

limitations

show examples

and

law

Fix the agreement mistake

laws

show examples

and access to weapons.

As a result

Linking Words

, their morale and attitude towards

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life would change in

inappropriate

Change the article

an inappropriate

show examples

way. So, many

people

Use synonyms

find

such

Linking Words

movies

Use synonyms

and

games

Use synonyms

detrimental to our society.

In addition

Linking Words

, watching and playing brutal visuals for

children

Use synonyms

can cause health issues. A child with an uncomplexed brain faced with

such

Linking Words

brutal contexts would have difficulties

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

processing. Scientific

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

has shown that

children

Use synonyms

brain

Fix the agreement mistake

brains

show examples

at early ages are unable to distinguish between the voice and picture of

movies

Use synonyms

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

separate elements and

this

Linking Words

misunderstanding of action and harmful visuals could lead to brain problems for

children

Use synonyms

in the future.

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

issue arising from

this

Linking Words

genre could be considered crucial for many

people

Use synonyms

and lead

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

to consider

Change preposition

apply

show examples

banning them. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

may find

Use synonyms

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

movies

Use synonyms

and

games

Use synonyms

fun and entertaining. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

kind of context would have

detrimental

Add an article

a detrimental

show examples

effect on

children

Use synonyms

attitude

Fix the agreement mistake

attitudes

show examples

and health which have to

take

Wrong verb form

be taken

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

into close consideration to ban these sceneries

Submitted by sarmastsobhan1994 on Sat Jan 20 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines what both sides of the argument are, followed by a thesis statement where you indicate your own standpoint.

Task Achievement

Develop your main points with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments; avoid making sweeping generalizations without supporting details.

Coherence & Cohesion

Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and a purpose that relates back to the overall argument of the essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a range of linking words and phrases to show relationships between ideas and to help the reader follow the progression of your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structures and vocabulary to avoid repetitiveness and to make the essay more engaging.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

363 words

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Advanced technology has taken over people's lives in recent times. It is argued that life was less complex in the past when there was no technology. I completely disagree with this statement and believe that sophisticated technology has made our lives more convenient and less laborious and improved the education system.

Computer games and films containing violence are popular today. Some people think that these are harmful for our society and the government should ban them. Other argue that such games and films are fun for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that activities of large multinational companies mostly benefit the economies of developing countries, other people take the opposite view and feel these large multinationals are harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

İn some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both two views and give your opinion.

In the past, knowledge was stored in books. Today, people stored knowledge on the Internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history about house or building they live in. What are reason for this? how can people research it?

Life was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree or disagree?