Computer games and films containing violence are popular today. Some people think that these are harmful for our society and the government should ban them. Other argue that such games and films are fun for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Visual game plays and
movies
which have violence
content Replace the word
violent
is
widely spread among Correct subject-verb agreement
are
people
. Some people
argued
that it does have damaging effects Wrong verb form
argue
for
Change preposition
on
world
and it should be banned from Add an article
the world
public
, Correct article usage
the public
while
others believe that they are amusing for the people
. This
essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favor
of the former.
On the one hand, many Change the spelling
favour
people
may find watching brutal movies
or playing video games
with aggressive details amusing. Due to
the fast-changing and competitive world, many individuals are reluctant to have spare time. Furthermore
, playing games
and watching movies
which is
Verb problem
that
involved
Replace the word
involve
violence
makes them not only unwind but also
entertained. Hence
, that's why some people
believe that such
games
and movies
are fun for amusing.
On the other hand
, such
contents
can have long-lasting detrimental effects on Fix the agreement mistake
content
children
. In other words
, children
growing up watching or playing this
kind of context could not have a positive attitude Change preposition
in this
through
their Change preposition
throughout
life
which Fix the agreement mistake
lives
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
it
to Correct pronoun usage
apply
increasing
rate of crime among the generation that has grown up in Add an article
the increasing
an increasing
violence
. For example
, nowadays children
tend to play action video games
that stimulate a world without any limitation
and Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
law
and access to weapons. Fix the agreement mistake
laws
As a result
, their morale and attitude towards the
life would change in Correct article usage
apply
inappropriate
way. So, many Change the article
an inappropriate
people
find such
movies
and games
detrimental to our society.
In addition
, watching and playing brutal visuals for children
can cause health issues. A child with an uncomplexed brain faced with such
brutal contexts would have difficulties for
processing. Scientific Change preposition
apply
researches
has shown that Fix the agreement mistake
research
children
's brain
at early ages are unable to distinguish between the voice and picture of Fix the agreement mistake
brains
movies
as a
separate elements and Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
this
misunderstanding of action and harmful visuals could lead to brain problems for children
in the future. Thus
, this
issue arising from this
genre could be considered crucial for many people
and lead government
to consider Correct article usage
the government
to
banning them.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
although
some people
may find violence
Replace the word
violent
movies
and games
fun and entertaining. In my opinion, this
kind of context would have detrimental
effect on Add an article
a detrimental
children
's attitude
and health which have to Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
take
Wrong verb form
be taken
it
into close consideration to ban these sceneriesCorrect pronoun usage
apply
Submitted by sarmastsobhan1994 on
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Task Achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines what both sides of the argument are, followed by a thesis statement where you indicate your own standpoint.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments; avoid making sweeping generalizations without supporting details.
Coherence & Cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and a purpose that relates back to the overall argument of the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to show relationships between ideas and to help the reader follow the progression of your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and vocabulary to avoid repetitiveness and to make the essay more engaging.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example