Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Numerous people argue that outdoor
activities
will bring a lot of benefits for Use synonyms
children
's development than playing Use synonyms
computer
Use synonyms
games
. I agreeUse synonyms
,
because Remove the comma
apply
computer
Use synonyms
games
will bring a lot of negative effects on Use synonyms
children
's growth.
There are many factors which influence my point of view, where from the outdoor Use synonyms
activities
, Use synonyms
children
could be socially active. Use synonyms
This
means toddlers can socialize with other Linking Words
children
and be aware of their surroundings. Use synonyms
Moreover
, outdoor activity can contribute to their health, Linking Words
due to
the fact that Linking Words
this
activity could move their bodies and expose them to sunlight Linking Words
that is
good for their physic. Linking Words
For instance
, Linking Words
children
who spend their time playing in outdoor Use synonyms
activities
can make more friends rather than those who spend in the house playing Use synonyms
computer
Use synonyms
games
.
Use synonyms
Furthermore
, playing Linking Words
computer
Use synonyms
games
could bring drawbacks to Use synonyms
children
's development. When Use synonyms
children
stay on the Use synonyms
computer
for a long time it could lead to their health condition. Use synonyms
For example
, eyes can get tired or even hurt, their bodies are Linking Words
also
not moved which is not good for their lifestyle. Linking Words
Likewise
, Linking Words
children
can not make and interact with new people which will affect their sense of belonging and their ability to be more sociable. Use synonyms
Hence
, these are not good for Linking Words
children
's growth.
On balance, there are arguments that Use synonyms
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
Linking Words
also
needed for Add a missing verb
are also
children
to stay entertained. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
this
must be fully controlled by the parents.
Linking Words
To conclude
, outdoor Linking Words
activities
can contribute positively to Use synonyms
children
's development through actively sociable and Use synonyms
for
maintaining their health. Change preposition
apply
Besides
, Linking Words
computer
Use synonyms
games
could have negative effects on Use synonyms
children
's growth. Use synonyms
Nevertheless
, sometimes Linking Words
this
is Linking Words
also
needed for Linking Words
children
to be entertained.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states whether you agree or disagree, and ideally outline the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs including an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from the previous one.
task achievement
Support your main points with more detailed and specific examples. Rather than making general statements, give concrete examples that vividly illustrate your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and across paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Reiterate your stance in the conclusion and summarize the main points of your argument, ensuring your essay has a sense of closure.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example