IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their works from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employees. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#computers #modems #office #workers #works #home #offices #employees
We are in
21st
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the 21st
show examples
 century we need to change our perspectives.
Hense
Correct your spelling
Hence
show examples
, computers And modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their
works
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work
show examples
 from home
instead
 of working in offices every day. Working from home can be more comfortable
to
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for
show examples
 workers and employees since it
save
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saves
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 time and money to move from one place to another.
However
 during the corona
pandemic
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pandemic,
show examples
 many
people's
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people
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 were forced to stay indoors,
thus
 the
people
's who are not able to
work
 from home
due to
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 nature of
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 jobs remained frustrated.
However
,Working online makes
work
 easier for
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of workers around the globe but
also
 it might end up
produce
Wrong verb form
producing
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unefficient
Correct your spelling
inefficient
work
 production
due to
lack
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a lack
show examples
 of socialisation. Working in an office can create
a
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apply
show examples
production
work
 since
people
 mingle with
there co worker's
Correct your spelling
their co-workers
show examples
 and discuss the critical ideas which they come up with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solution
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solutions
show examples
 through
sharing
Correct article usage
the sharing
show examples
 of ideas.
In addition
,
people
 can help one another since they
work
 as a team. In my
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 computers makes
works
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work
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 easier and
also
flexibility
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flexible
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 since someone with
laptops
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laptop
show examples
 can
work
 anywhere
nevertheless
 the machine is portable but
also
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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creates boredom and
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of socialisation.
Submitted by mahendotima on

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task achievement
Focus on providing a clearer introduction that presents your main argument. Make sure to restate the prompt question and clearly state whether you agree or disagree.
coherence cohesion
Organise your essay into clear paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea. Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas effectively throughout the essay.
task achievement
Expand on your main points with relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. Try to ensure that each point made is illustrative of your overall argument and provides evidence or reasoning.
task achievement
Avoid general or vague statements. Strive for clarity in your essay by using precise vocabulary and detailed explanations of your viewpoints.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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