Schools should stop teaching children with books which students think boring, and use films, TV, video games and computer instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Opinions are divided on whether
use
films and Fix the infinitive
to use
computer
in class. Nowadays, Fix the agreement mistake
computers
the
educational technology Correct article usage
apply
develop
rapidly, Wrong verb form
is developing
children
may enjoy Correct word choice
and children
computer
for leisure, so some normal studying Fix the agreement mistake
computers
books
may lead
Verb problem
make
students
feel boring
. But in my opinion,using Replace the word
bored
books
are
still Change the verb form
is
the
positive way to help Correct article usage
a
students
to
learn knowledge, and the Verb problem
apply
computer
and films is
just Correct subject-verb agreement
are
tool
. So I partly agree that stop teaching Fix the agreement mistake
tools
children
with books
.
Actually, using computer
can improve Fix the agreement mistake
computers
learning
effect. The reason we can not ignore Correct article usage
the learning
is
that Correct pronoun usage
this is
computer
can truly show some more attractive pictures and videos Fix the agreement mistake
computers
Correct pronoun usage
that stimulated
stimulated
Wrong verb form
stimulate
students
ability Change noun form
students'
student's
of
imagine. Replace the preposition
to
For example
, on the art class. The art teacher can post some works for instance
, and even show a video for children
to know the history of some artists. Without the presentation, it is hard for children
to impress
Wrong verb form
be impressed
the
Change preposition
by the
art works
.
Correct your spelling
artwork
Nevertheless
, we can not completely stop the ordinary books
. On the one hand, books
is
the best way for Change the verb form
are
children
to focus on learning, children
do not have self-control. If they always look at computers, they may be distracted by some digital picture.
In conclusion, we can not stop using the paper books
. However
, put
Wrong verb form
putting
computer
and Fix the agreement mistake
computers
books
together is the sensible way for students
studying
. They can Change the verb form
to study
studying
carefully and Change the verb form
study
be studying
also
feel interested.Submitted by 506162796 on
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coherence cohesion
Develop the logical structure of the essay by having clear transitions between paragraphs and ensuring ideas flow more naturally.
coherence cohesion
Include both an introduction and a conclusion that clearly state your position and summarize the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with detailed and relevant examples, ensuring they clearly connect to your argument.
task achievement
Address the question fully, making sure to clearly state your position and extend your response to cover all parts of the task.
task achievement
Clarify the development of your ideas and avoid general statements. Use specific illustrations to enhance the strength of your points.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant examples to support your argument, and make sure they directly relate to the topic. Avoid any vague or unrelated examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.