Schools should stop teaching children with books which students think boring, and use films, TV, video games and computer instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Opinions are divided on whether
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
show examples
films and
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
in class. Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational technology
develop
Wrong verb form
is developing
show examples
rapidly,
children
Correct word choice
and children
show examples
may enjoy
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
for leisure, so some normal studying
books
may
lead
Verb problem
make
show examples
students
feel
boring
Replace the word
bored
show examples
. But in my opinion,using
books
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
still
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
positive way to help
students
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
learn knowledge, and the
computer
and films
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
just
tool
Fix the agreement mistake
tools
show examples
. So I partly agree that stop teaching
children
with
books
. Actually, using
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
can improve
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
effect. The reason we can not ignore
is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
show examples
that
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
can truly show some more attractive pictures and videos
Correct pronoun usage
that stimulated
show examples
stimulated
Wrong verb form
stimulate
show examples
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
ability
of
Replace the preposition
to
show examples
imagine.
For example
, on the art class. The art teacher can post some works
for instance
, and even show a video for
children
to know the history of some artists. Without the presentation, it is hard for
children
to
impress
Wrong verb form
be impressed
show examples
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
art works
Correct your spelling
artwork
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, we can not completely stop the ordinary
books
. On the one hand,
books
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the best way for
children
to focus on learning,
children
do not have self-control. If they always look at computers, they may be distracted by some digital picture. In conclusion, we can not stop using the paper
books
.
However
,
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
and
books
together is the sensible way for
students
studying
Change the verb form
to study
show examples
. They can
studying
Change the verb form
study
be studying
show examples
carefully and
also
feel interested.
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coherence cohesion
Develop the logical structure of the essay by having clear transitions between paragraphs and ensuring ideas flow more naturally.
coherence cohesion
Include both an introduction and a conclusion that clearly state your position and summarize the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with detailed and relevant examples, ensuring they clearly connect to your argument.
task achievement
Address the question fully, making sure to clearly state your position and extend your response to cover all parts of the task.
task achievement
Clarify the development of your ideas and avoid general statements. Use specific illustrations to enhance the strength of your points.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant examples to support your argument, and make sure they directly relate to the topic. Avoid any vague or unrelated examples.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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