IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many city centers these days have traffic flow problems, causing congestion and pollution. One solution is to build fast ring roads on the outskirts of a city, taking traffic away from the centre. While this is helpful in some ways, it also causes new problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays many urban areas have
traffic
Use synonyms
 jam problems, causing environmental pollution. One solution for
this
Linking Words
 issue is to construct a highway on the outer part of the
city
Use synonyms
, as an effect it helps
traffic
Use synonyms
 decrease in the downtown. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. I believe that the fasting roads will be an effective solution.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the construction of fast roads on the outskirts of a
city
Use synonyms
 will help
cars
Use synonyms
 avoid getting stuck in
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams.
As a result
Linking Words
, people don't spend hours in
traffic
Use synonyms
 and save their
time
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in the USA a lot of big cities have highways, which helps
cars
Use synonyms
 to drive quickly and without
traffic
Use synonyms
 lights.
Consequently
Linking Words
, people don't spend their
time
Use synonyms
 on the way and drive a long distance in a short
time
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the freeway built on the outer part of the
city
Use synonyms
 will help prevent many
cars
Use synonyms
 from entering the
city
Use synonyms
 centre.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 in the
city
Use synonyms
 centre there will be less air pollution from car fuel.
For example
Linking Words
, in London through the highway in the
city
Use synonyms
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
center
Add a comma
center,
show examples
 you will not see a lot of
cars
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, the downtown greatly
air
Change the verb form
airs
show examples
 for walking around the
city
Use synonyms
 as a tourist. In conclusion, many
city
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
these days have
traffic
Use synonyms
 flow problems, because of the environment being polluted and the construction of
fasting
Replace the word
fast
show examples
 roads from the
city
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 will be the best solution to
this
Linking Words
 issue.
As a result
Linking Words
, people don't spend their
time
Use synonyms
 on the way,
although
Linking Words
 it will have a positive effect on the environment from the pollution.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure you fully address the prompt by acknowledging potential drawbacks of building fast ring roads as the topic suggests discussing both benefits and problems caused by this solution. Presenting a one-sided argument can lead to a lower score in task response.
coherence and cohesion
Aim to clearly introduce your main points in the introduction and then expand on them in the body paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, supported by specific details or examples.
task achievement
To enrich your essay, provide more elaborated examples directly related to the prompt, instead of general cases. This would strengthen the main points made in each paragraph, making your argument more persuasive.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: