IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many city centers these days have traffic flow problems, causing congestion and pollution. One solution is to build fast ring roads on the outskirts of a city, taking traffic away from the centre. While this is helpful in some ways, it also causes new problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#city #centers #traffic #flow #congestion #pollution #roads #outskirts #centre
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Nowadays many urban areas have
traffic
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 jam problems, causing environmental pollution. One solution for
this
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 issue is to construct a highway on the outer part of the
city
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, as an effect it helps
traffic
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 decrease in the downtown. I totally agree with
this
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 statement. I believe that the fasting roads will be an effective solution.
Firstly
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, the construction of fast roads on the outskirts of a
city
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 will help
cars
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 avoid getting stuck in
traffic
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 jams.
As a result
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, people don't spend hours in
traffic
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 and save their
time
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.
For example
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, in the USA a lot of big cities have highways, which helps
cars
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 to drive quickly and without
traffic
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 lights.
Consequently
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, people don't spend their
time
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 on the way and drive a long distance in a short
time
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.
Secondly
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, the freeway built on the outer part of the
city
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 will help prevent many
cars
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 from entering the
city
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 centre.
While
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 in the
city
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 centre there will be less air pollution from car fuel.
For example
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, in London through the highway in the
city
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Change the spelling
centre
show examples
center
Add a comma
center,
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 you will not see a lot of
cars
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.
As a result
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, the downtown greatly
air
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airs
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 for walking around the
city
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 as a tourist. In conclusion, many
city
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centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
these days have
traffic
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 flow problems, because of the environment being polluted and the construction of
fasting
Replace the word
fast
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 roads from the
city
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center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 will be the best solution to
this
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 issue.
As a result
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, people don't spend their
time
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 on the way,
although
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 it will have a positive effect on the environment from the pollution.
Submitted by janmuldayevaa1 on

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task response
Make sure you fully address the prompt by acknowledging potential drawbacks of building fast ring roads as the topic suggests discussing both benefits and problems caused by this solution. Presenting a one-sided argument can lead to a lower score in task response.
coherence and cohesion
Aim to clearly introduce your main points in the introduction and then expand on them in the body paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea, supported by specific details or examples.
task achievement
To enrich your essay, provide more elaborated examples directly related to the prompt, instead of general cases. This would strengthen the main points made in each paragraph, making your argument more persuasive.
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