The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart
show
the numbers of Change the verb form
shows
people
who live in urban,rural and town, whether they were born in Australia
or outside Australia
from 1995 to 2010 in percentage.
At
1995 Change preposition
In
people
who were born in Australia
most
lived Correct quantifier usage
apply
at
Change preposition
in
cities
, about 50 person
,
And about 30 Change to a plural noun
people
person
were lived Change to a plural noun
people
at
Rural areas, Change preposition
in
as well as
20 person
Change to a plural noun
people
at
Change preposition
in
towns
.
For
Change preposition
Of
people
borned
outside Correct your spelling
born
Australia
most of them live in cities
about 60 person
, 40 Change to a plural noun
people
person
Change to a plural noun
people
lived
in rural Wrong verb form
live
ereas
and about 10 persons at rowns.
Correct your spelling
areas
At
2010 about 65 Change preposition
In
person
lived in cities
from people
who were born in Australia
, and
80 Correct word choice
apply
person
from people
who
were born outside Correct pronoun usage
apply
Australia
, and
about 15 Correct word choice
apply
person
who were born in Change to a plural noun
people
Australia
lived in towns
and rural areas, and
about 10 persons lived in Correct word choice
apply
towns
were borned
outside Correct your spelling
born
Australia
, and about 5 persons in rural areas.
So people
used to love living in cities
and still liking
to live Wrong verb form
like
at
Change preposition
in
cities
, and they used to live at
rural Change preposition
in
ereas
and Correct your spelling
areas
towns
a lot but in 2010 they started to be less.Submitted by Daniamoh05 on
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, australia, cities, person, towns with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 8 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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