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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below show the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reportin the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below show the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reportin the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #levels #post-school #qualifications #australia #proportion #men #women #summarise #information #reportin #features #comparisons
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The bar charts illustrate the
percentage
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 of Australian
female
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females
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 and
male
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males
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 of education background in five types of qualifications in 1999. The
percentage
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 of female’s Bachelor’s
degree
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 was higher than male’s
percentage
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 by about 10%.
However
Linking Words
, men have
higher
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a higher
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 proportion in the higher
educations
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education
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 (postgraduate
diploma
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 and Master’s
degree
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). In postgraduate
diploma
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,
male
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males
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 account for 70%, but the
percentage
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 of
post graduated
Add a hyphen
post-graduated
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 women was around 30%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the proportion of men in studied
in
Change preposition
for
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master’s
Correct article usage
a master’s
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degree
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 was 60%. It was higher than the
percentage
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 of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 who
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 a master’s
degree
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 by 20%.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the case of skilled vocational
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diploma
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diplomas
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 and undergraduate
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diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
show examples
, opposite patterns are observed based on gender. Men’s skilled vocational
diploma
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 was
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
percentage
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to compare
Change the verb form
compared
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 with other qualifications. Meanwhile, the proportion of women’s skilled vocational
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diploma
Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
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 was
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
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 point.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, degree, diploma with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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