Some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and are unable to afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?
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task response
The essay provided does not address the topic of people getting into debt by buying things they do not need and are unable to afford. It is important to stay relevant to the question prompt and provide a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion that directly relate to the issues posed in the task.
logical structure
There is a lack of clear structure. It would benefit from an introduction that presents the topic, body paragraphs that each tackle one specific aspect of the question, and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and answers the prompt.
coherence
The essay lacks cohesion, with sentences and ideas appearing disconnected from each other. Use cohesive devices such as linking words or phrases to ensure sentences and paragraphs flow logically and clearly express how they are related to each other and the overall topic.
supported main points
The essay needs to include relevant examples or explanations related to the topic of overspending and debt. These should illustrate the points being made, helping to support arguments and to provide evidence for the claims that are made.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
- Summary
- Restatement of thesis
- Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
- In conclusion
- To conclude
- To summarize
- Finally
- In a nutshell
- In general