IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The bar chart shows the proportion of people aged over 65 years old in Germany, Canada, and the UK over a period of 50 years.

The bar chart shows the proportion of people aged over 65 years old in Germany, Canada, and the UK over a period of 50 years.
#bar #proportion #people #years #germany #canada #uk #period
This
 bar graph validates the population of individuals aged more than 65 in Germany, Canada, and the UK. The statistical data has been framed over a period of 5 decades.
Besides
this
 chart has been divided into 3 different parts with similar time duration. In the first
segment
Add a comma
segment,
show examples
German
Replace the word
Germany
show examples
 beats the other two countries with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 percentage of 15. In the next
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
 Canada and the
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 had
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 equal count of people.
Neverthless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
 in the present and the future, population of the people aged 65 has drastically
rose
Change the verb form
risen
show examples
 in Canada. Notably
German
Replace the word
Germany
show examples
 had
also
 maintained their standard of inhabitants for two
century
Fix the agreement mistake
centuries
show examples
, which is remarkable.
Besided
Correct your spelling
Besides
 the United States had
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 equal number of residents over the century which has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
period of time.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: