Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country's police force or military force, while others think that women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Gender equality in fields like military and

police

Use synonyms

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

have more male population than female is a topic that has been progressed and debated worldwide. Some believe that

women

Use synonyms

should be equally represented in these

work spaces

Correct your spelling

workspaces

show examples

while

Linking Words

some believe that

men

Use synonyms

are more physically suited than

women

Use synonyms

and should be featured more. In my opinion,

women

Use synonyms

should play an equal role as

men

Use synonyms

in military and

police

Use synonyms

forces, because

women

Use synonyms

are now represented with more opportunities than in the past, and both genders should be equally accepted and treated the same. On the one hand,

women

Use synonyms

have a greater tendency to get rejected by forces related to cops and the military. One of them

being

Wrong verb form

is that

show examples

women

Use synonyms

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

more limitations when it comes to physical abilities than

men

Use synonyms

Men

Use synonyms

are scientifically proven to be stronger than

women

Use synonyms

, having more skeletal muscle mass and body strength.

Therefore

Linking Words

, in wars back in the day,

men

Use synonyms

were the ones fighting

while

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

played a supporting role

such

Linking Words

as providing healthcare and

food

Use synonyms

men

Use synonyms

in the war or taking care of the house and kids at home.

Women

Use synonyms

in the past were accustomed to

serve

Change the verb form

serving

show examples

their husbands,

Correct word choice

and keep

show examples

keep

Wrong verb form

keeping

show examples

the house, They were not granted access to education to adequate

food

Use synonyms

when there was a lack of surplus, since

men

Use synonyms

were favored over

women

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. Without the

food

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and

nutritions

Fix the agreement mistake

nutrition

show examples

needed, they were unable to sustain health and physical strength like

men

Use synonyms

, and they did not have the qualification of education to join the army or

police

Use synonyms

force.

On the other hand

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

men

Use synonyms

have more physical strength and are traditionally expected to serve in the military and

police

Use synonyms

force, I still believe that

women

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should be given the same opportunities in the modern world. In the past,

women

Use synonyms

were not as respected and were mistreated.

However

Linking Words

, most

women

Use synonyms

are now given the chance to go to school and improve their knowledge

as well as

Linking Words

physical health. They are given enough

food

Use synonyms

and

nutritions

Fix the agreement mistake

nutrition

show examples

to be just as scientifically healthy as

men

Use synonyms

Women

Use synonyms

win many high awards in sports and academics now because they have a chance too. Scientists even prove that

women

Use synonyms

are more capable than

men

Use synonyms

in fields that require physical flexibility and creativity.

This

Linking Words

shows that females have more abilities than proven in the past and are just as capable as

men

Use synonyms

to serve in the navy or to be a

police

Use synonyms

. Generally,

women

Use synonyms

, in my opinion, should play an equal role in the military and

police

Use synonyms

forces as males, because they now have chances to go to school and eat the same

food

Use synonyms

, and all genders should be recognised and treated equally.

ngocnamkhue.nguyen

Jan 28, 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure that the essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion. It should explicitly state the topics being discussed and your own stance on the issue. The conclusion should summarise your main points and restate your opinion clearly.

logical structure

Organize your ideas into clear, logical paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and be supported with detailed examples or evidence. Be mindful of transition words to ensure a smooth flow between points.

logical structure

Use a range of linking words to help the reader follow your argument. This includes words that show cause and effect, contrast, and addition.

complete response

Fully address the task by discussing both views presented in the question before giving your own opinion. Ensure that the discussion remains balanced and that all views are covered.

clear comprehensive ideas

Provide clear, comprehensive explanations for each point you make. Avoid vague statements and ensure that your reader can understand your reasoning.

supported main points

Support your main points with relevant, specific examples or evidence. This could be in the form of statistics, studies, or real-world examples that are directly related to the point you're discussing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

441 words

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Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country's police force or military force, while others think that women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

Global environmental issues are the responsibility of richer nations, not poorer ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Scientists predict that in the future, cars will be driven by computers. What are the reasons behind this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Many people used distance- learning programs to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefits as much as attending college or university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?