IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate student who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate student who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #uk #graduate #student #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are two bar charts provided that
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about some
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of activities that are chosen by undergraduate and graduate
students
Use synonyms
 after they finished their
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 in the UK, in 2008. The
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of activities are divided into 4 categories.
Overall
Linking Words
, in decreasing order, either the undergraduates or postgraduates, the type of activities they were content were
further
Linking Words
study
Use synonyms
, part-time
work
Use synonyms
, unemployment, and voluntary
work
Use synonyms
. From the first table, it indicates that, after
graduate
Replace the word
graduation
show examples
, 29,665 undergraduate
students
Use synonyms
 wanted to continue their
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
, taking
Add an article
a high
show examples
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 to become postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, part-time
work
Use synonyms
 and unemployment were the next
larger
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
 group; the data were
around
Change preposition
from around
show examples
 17,735 and 16,235 undergraduate
students
Use synonyms
, respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 was the activity that got the least attention, as it only accounted
around
Change preposition
for around
show examples
 3,500 undergraduate
students
Use synonyms
 who wanted to take
this
Linking Words
 activity.
From the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 second table,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
illustrates that the amount of postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 bar chart
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 all worth significantly less than the undergraduate. The postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 who wanted to take another round of
study
Use synonyms
 were around 2,725
people
Use synonyms
. The part-time
work
Use synonyms
 had a slightly amount after
further
Linking Words
study
Use synonyms
, around 2,535
people
Use synonyms
. It gives the same trend as the undergraduates, as
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unemployment, accounted for 1,625
people
Use synonyms
 and only 345
people
Use synonyms
interested
Add a missing verb
were interested
show examples
 in taking voluntary
work
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by nadiamanda.salsabilla on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, study, work, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: