advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children
In
this
contemporary era, with the advancement in the
technology we can see that Correct article usage
apply
the
video Correct article usage
apply
games
become the
integral part of today's generation. Change the article
an
The digital
Correct article usage
Digital
games
are beneficial for kids in many ways such
as in improving cognitive skills whereas
it Correct word choice
apply
also
effects
their health as well. In Verb problem
affect
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
i
will discuss both the pros and cons of Change the capitalization
I
this
ongoing trend in detail.
To commence with,there are ample number of benefits of playing online games
but the most prominent one is cognitive skills.It is undeniable that the
computerized Correct article usage
apply
games
helps
to Change the verb form
help
sharp
the brain skills of Replace the word
sharpen
the
Correct article usage
apply
children's
by doing multiple tasks in the game at Change noun form
children
a
one Correct article usage
apply
time
.For example
: some games
includes
analysing and Change the verb form
include
take
Wrong verb form
taking
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
with in
a stipulated Correct your spelling
within
time
period. Moreover
, playstation
Correct your spelling
PlayStation
games
also
open the gates for their career as well in the form of becoming online gamer
in future.By Fix the agreement mistake
gamers
this
i
mean, the most intelligent child in Change the capitalization
I
games
could create their own page on you tube
and earn millions.
Correct your spelling
youtube
However
, we cannot ignore the pitfalls of this
entertainment as it have
Change the verb form
has
a detrimental effects
on the health of Correct the article-noun agreement
a detrimental effect
detrimental effects
gamer
in the form of Fix the agreement mistake
gamers
Correct your spelling
diseases
diseses
Correct your spelling
diseases
such
as obesity,
myopia and so on. Because when
pupils spend Correct word choice
When
enormous
amount of Add an article
an enormous
time
on screen games
they did
not get Wrong verb form
do
time
for physical movement as a result
there are more chances of obesity in them. In addition
, sometimes weaker students cannot get the proper attention from their peers when they are busy in
playing Change preposition
apply
games
which is
not only results in loneliness but Unnecessary verb
apply
also
break
down their bonding as well.
In conclusion, Correct subject-verb agreement
breaks
although
paying more attention to such
type
of Fix the agreement mistake
types
games
is fruitful in the development of brain
, it creates Add an article
the brain
the
problems in the health of Correct article usage
apply
individual
which cannot be ignored as it will be harmful Add an article
an individual
for
their life in Change the preposition
to
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
time
.Submitted by sunnygarg710 on
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task achievement
Develop your ideas more thoroughly to create a more convincing argument. While you touched upon factors like cognitive skills and the risks of obesity, providing more depth and specific examples could strengthen the essay.
task achievement
Be cautious with spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Review your work to avoid simple errors such as 'diseses' should be 'diseases,' and phrases such as 'the computerized games helps to sharp' should be revised to 'computerized games help to sharpen.',
coherence cohesion
Enhance the coherence of your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas. Also, paragraph structuring can be improved to make the progression of ideas clearer and more logical.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are fully developed. Both should clearly indicate the essay's direction and the introduction should lead smoothly into the body, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points without introducing new information.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.