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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows ehat Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologist in work after 5 years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows ehat Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologist in work after 5 years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#ehat #anthropology #graduates #university #course #salaries #anthropologist #work #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graph and the table depict the types of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 of anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
 after completing their graduation and the salary ranges of the anthropologists in their workplaces after five years. We can see here, the highest number of
graduates
Use synonyms
 join in full-time
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 and the lowest number of
graduates
Use synonyms
 continue their postgrad study with
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 work.
Besides
Linking Words
, the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 sector
pay
Change the verb form
pays
show examples
 much to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
anthropologists compared to other options. On the one hand, 52% of
graduates
Use synonyms
 engage themselves in full-time
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. 15% of them work part-time and only 5% of the students continue their
study
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studies
show examples
 with their part-time
works
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work
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the rate for full-time
postgrad
Correct your spelling
postgraduates
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 is 3%,
mone
Correct your spelling
more
show examples
 than part-time job holder students.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, among all the students who completed graduation, 12% remain unemployed.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, among the anthropologists who are working as freelance consultants, 40% of them earn $45,000-90000 and the rate for $
100000+
Correct your spelling
100,000+
 earners are same. 15% of them earn less than $75000 and only 5% of
anthropolosists
Correct your spelling
anthropologists
 in
this
Linking Words
 sector earn less than 5%.
In addition
Linking Words
, in the
goverment
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government
sector
Add a comma
sector,
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 50% of
recruitements
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recruitments
recruitment
 earn more than $100000
when
Correct word choice
while
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 30% of them earn less than $100000. the rate for
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 two ranges are
same
Correct article usage
the same
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to
Change preposition
as
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 the freelance consultants.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, 30% of anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
 who work in private companies earn the highest salary where most of them stuck at the range from $50000 to $74999.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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