IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

the graph below shows the unemployment rates in the USA and Japan between march 1993 and march 1999.

the graph below shows the unemployment rates in the USA and Japan between march 1993 and march 1999.
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The given line graph illustrates the proportion of unemployment rates between
two
Correct article usage
the two
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 countries from
March
Use synonyms
 1993 to
March
Use synonyms
 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the unemployment rate of Japan showed a steady but significant rise,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
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 experienced a downward trend. The percentage of
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 the highest in
March
Use synonyms
 1993
reached to
Wrong verb form
reaching
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 7.0% but throughout the period US rate gradually
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
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 to approximately 5.1% in
March
Use synonyms
 1999. in the meantime, the percentage of
Correct your spelling
the workforce
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work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
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 in Japan
exceeding
Wrong verb form
exceeded
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US
Correct article usage
the US
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 rate in
March
Use synonyms
 1998

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words march with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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