The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #uk #graduate #students #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The bar charts below provide information concerning the destination of UK bachelor's and master's degree

students

excluding full-time jobs after graduating in 2008. The data can be divided into two parts, namely the number that experienced an upward trend and a downward trend. Figures are given in quantities of

students

Overall

, it can be clearly seen that the rate of graduates and postgraduates who preferred voluntary work,

further

study, and unemployment are very similar except for people who work

Change preposition

apply

show examples

part-time

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

. The first thing to consider is the number of bachelor's degree

students

who chose charity jobs, extended studying, and blankness is around 1,000 per cent of master's degree

students

. The former are 3,500, 29,665, and 16,235

whereas

the latter are 345, 2,725, and 1,625 respectively. The exceptional thing is the quantities of people who worked as part-time jobs are a lot different which are 17,735 for graduates and 2,535 for postgraduates.

Submitted by nine318 on Tue Jan 30 2024

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

153 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, people now wear western-style dress such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

History tells that people have often thought about creating an ideal society, but most of the times fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society? How can we create an ideal society?

You live in a block of flats; your neighbour makes a lot of noise which has caused problems for you. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter, you should: explain the situation tell him/her how you are effected by this Suggest what you want the landlord to do.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.