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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the line graph give information about acid rain emmissions in uk between 1990 to 2007 summarise this figure

the line graph give information about acid rain emmissions in uk between 1990 to 2007 summarise this figure
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The line graph depicts the information
of
Change preposition
on
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acid
Use synonyms
rain
Use synonyms
 discharge in England from 1990 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, it was noticed that the energy
resourses
Correct your spelling
resources
play
Wrong verb form
played
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 a key factor behind
acid
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rain
Use synonyms
 over the 17 years. First of all, the
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 thing is domestic appliances that produced
acid
Use synonyms
rain
Use synonyms
 under one
million
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tonnes
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 and after some fluctuations,
its
Correct your spelling
it was
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 stable at 0.3
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2007.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it was observed that energy producers like electricity,gas and water supply played a vital aspect in
acid
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rain
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a quick downfall was measured in
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 things from 3.3
million
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tonnes
Use synonyms
 to 0.5 in 17 years.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the other industries emit
acid
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rain
Use synonyms
 above 2
million
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tonnes
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 in 1991 but after every year a minor
dropped
Replace the word
drop
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 off
occur
Correct subject-verb agreement
occurs
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 and ends at 1.2
million
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tonnes
Use synonyms
 in 2007.
Lastly
Linking Words
, it was observed that the transportation and communication outflow
Use synonyms
acid
Change preposition
of acid
show examples
rain
Use synonyms
 in 1991 was calculated
0.6
Change preposition
at 0.6
show examples
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
,in the year 2005 it
touches
Wrong verb form
touched
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1
Correct article usage
the 1
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million
Use synonyms
 mark point but after
slightly
Change the word
slight
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 changes it again comes
at
Change preposition
to
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their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 initial value after 2 years.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words acid, rain, million, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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