IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The increase in the production of consumer goods causes damage to the natural environment, what are the reasons and what can we do to solve this problem?

#production #consumer #goods #damage #environment
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The increasing consumption of consumer goods leads to an amelioration of production, resulting
into
Change preposition
in
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 destruction of the natural environment. Despite its negative facts
to
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about
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 the ecosystem, the statement provides
with
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apply
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disputable reasons. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 elaborate more on these reasons and identify potential solutions for
this
Linking Words
 issue.
In
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On
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 the positive side, the creation of simple-made consumer cuisines
are
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is
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 actually beneficial to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human civilization, particularly for urbanized families. These typical accomodations
comes
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come
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 in handy when preparing daily meals as they are created in a way so that individuals can construct manageable and undemanding comestibles in their hectic schedules.
Conversely
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, the negative side is
also
Linking Words
 important to take into
considerations
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consideration
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. Looking at how these products are developed in accustomed factories, the carbon dioxide which
were
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was
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 disseminated from the ashes and
smokes
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smoke
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, played a big role in the greenhouse
affect
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effect
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 whilst
also
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 spreading
pollutions
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pollution
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 to the
neighboring
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neighbouring
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 cities. The unwanted conditions will eventually lead
into
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to
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an
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apply
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immense damage towards the well-being of the natural habitat and circumstances. When both preserving the nation and the emanation of consumer goods are equally imperative, the scrutiny of rounding a solution empowering both aspects must take place. In my opinion,
this
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 can be resolved through
a
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apply
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careful deliberation towards the process of the products'
establishments
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establishment
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. Constantly using environmentally friendly factory machines
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 pivotal to the advancement of nature,
while
Linking Words
 still maintaining a decent amount of product manufacturing.
Consequently
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, the sustainability of humankind and the conservation of green
city
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cities
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 will be prolonged.
Submitted by zefanyagyu on

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introduction
Make sure your introduction clearly states the topic and your position on the issue. Use a clear thesis statement.
body content
Expand on the specific reasons why consumer goods production harms the environment with clear examples and explanations.
solutions
Develop fully fleshed-out solutions that directly address the problems raised by the production of consumer goods.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas across your essay. Avoid repeating the same linking words.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within it are logically connected to that idea.
examples
Use more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. General statements should be minimized.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural resources
  • deforestation
  • depletion of water sources
  • biodiversity loss
  • pollutants
  • manufacturing processes
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable practices
  • environmental regulations
  • environmental awareness
  • responsible consumption
  • eco-friendly products
  • recycle
  • renewable energy sources
  • industrial waste
  • emissions
What to do next:
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