IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Although
Linking Words
 some people believe that one should only focus on their given subjects at school,
this
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 essay agrees that increasing knowledge outside the school’s materials could be beneficial because it will leverage the student’s value and soft skills when applying for
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. On the one hand, scholars tend to spend most of their
time
Use synonyms
 learning in-depth only on
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 lessons provided by their universities or schools because they want to focus
to graduate
Change preposition
on graduating
show examples
with
Change preposition
within
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 a short period of
time
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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, when they allocate their
time
Use synonyms
 only to learn the basics, they will easily pass the test and graduate sooner.
For example
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, a record by
Faculty
Correct article usage
the Faculty
show examples
 of Engineering in a university showed that a group of
students
Use synonyms
 who did not take any additional
courses
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 graduated 6 months earlier compared to the usual
time
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 since they
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 always passed each of the tests.
On the other hand
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, some
students
Use synonyms
 aggressively expand their knowledge by taking lessons outside their schools to complement their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
This
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 will
ease
Verb problem
help
show examples
 them to find jobs because they have additional skills and knowledge to offer to their employers, and
thus
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,
this
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 essay agrees that
students
Use synonyms
 should upgrade their skills
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 taking additional
courses
Use synonyms
for
Linking Words
this
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 reason.
For instance
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, Google provides lots of free
courses
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 with certificates because they know it is highly important
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 for university
students
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. In conclusion,
while
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 there are
Correct article usage
a numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
 who only focus on their main subjects at school in order to graduate earlier, some still choose to take additional
courses
Use synonyms
 to increase their value and get accepted easily in their dream jobs.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
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 essay agrees that
students
Use synonyms
 should go
extra
Correct article usage
the extra
show examples
miles
Fix the agreement mistake
mile
show examples
for
Linking Words
this
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 reason.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the ideas are not only stated but also fully explained and related back to the essay question.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to guide the reader more smoothly through the essay and to improve the logical flow of your ideas.
task achievement
Avoid repetition of ideas and aim to present a balanced discussion of both views before concluding with your opinion for a higher Task Achievement score.
task achievement
Provide more specific and varied examples that directly support the points being made. Draw on a broad range of typical academic scenarios rather than relying on generalized statements.
task achievement
Expand on your conclusion to include a summary of the points discussed and provide a clear, well-supported argument for your own opinion. Refine the restatement of the key points to avoid repetition and add depth to your reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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