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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentages #meals #three #nutrients #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts provide information about the average rates
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 types of nutrients that are contained in typical
meals
Use synonyms
 which might be unhealthy if consumed a lot.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 3 main types of nutrients on the charts which consist of
Sodium
Use synonyms
, Saturated
fats
Use synonyms
 and Added
Sugar
Use synonyms
. Starting with Breakfast, 14% of
Sodium
Use synonyms
 is contained in morning
meals
Use synonyms
, and 16% of both Saturated
fats
Use synonyms
 and Added Sugars are found in breakfast.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, lunch
meals
Use synonyms
 contain a lot more
Sodium
Use synonyms
 and 26% of Saturated
fats
Use synonyms
,
as well as
Linking Words
 19% of Added
Sugar
Use synonyms
. With the
last
Linking Words
 2
meals
Use synonyms
 remaining, food served at Dinner
contain
Change the verb form
contains
show examples
 the most amount of
Sodium
Use synonyms
 and Fat out of all the other
meals
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, 23% of
Sugar
Use synonyms
 is found
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Dinner
based
Verb problem
apply
show examples
meals
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Snacks contain 42% of
Sugar
Use synonyms
 which is the highest percentage compared to the 3 other food types,
along with
Linking Words
 only 14%
Sodium
Use synonyms
 and 21% of Saturated
fats
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ravann.ibrahimli on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words meals, sodium, fats, sugar with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • typical meals
  • percentages
  • saturated fats
  • fibers
  • sugars
  • impact
  • average
  • consumption
  • trends
  • breakfast
  • lunch
  • dinner
  • highest
  • lowest
  • variation
  • implications
  • balanced diet
  • recommendations
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