IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

There is an argument that women should work in force.Others think that they can work other area. Write both views and your opinion

#argument #women #work #force #area
Dear Mike, Thank you for your email.
I
Add a verb
I am
I was
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always glad to receive messages from you. In your
letter
Add a comma
letter,
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 you asked me about my projects. Well, I had
project
Correct article usage
a project
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 one year ago about environmental
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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, but I haven’t
project
Correct article usage
a project
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 now. Making a project is not
popular
Add an article
a popular
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 way to
studying
Wrong verb form
study
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 at my school. To my mind, written reports are more useful and better for
ask
Change the verb form
asking
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 the information. Now I am going to ask some questions for you about Dan’s reaction to the experiment. Well, did he expect
this
 result? What
is
Verb problem
does
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 he
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
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 to do to improve
this
 situation?
Did
Verb problem
Was
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 he upset that he
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 in the experimental group? Sorry, but now I need to help my parents. Write back soon! Best wishes, Artem
Submitted by dulskywork on

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay specifically addresses the given task - the argument about women's roles in the workforce. The provided text does not cover this topic, therefore, it needs considerable revision to align with the IELTS requirements.
coherence and cohesion
Structure the essay with a clear introduction, at least two body paragraphs presenting different views, and a conclusion. Use cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
task achievement
Develop main points with relevant and specific examples or explanations, and ensure that the essay remains focused on the given topic throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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