the diagram below shows the stages in the recycling of aluminium drinks cans. Summaris the information by selectin and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

the diagram below shows the stages in the recycling of aluminium drinks cans.

Summaris the information by selectin and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
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The diagram below illustrates how to recycle
aluminium
Use synonyms
beverage cans.
Overall
Linking Words
,it is a cycle process and has six stages starting from collecting canes ,transporting, processing and final product ready for sale. In the collection centre clearly separated cans to particular bins
then
Linking Words
, collected items are transported by tracks.In the recycling centre old cans are cleaned and melted to liquid
aluminium
Use synonyms
using high temperatures.
Then
Linking Words
after the cooled liquid was converted to the new
aluminium
Use synonyms
solid bars.After following these stages
aluminium
Use synonyms
bars are formed
aluminium
Use synonyms
thin rolls by machines. These
aluminium
Use synonyms
rolls are manufactured beverage bottles using specialized machines
then
Linking Words
labelled and filled with flavoured fruit juice.
Finally
Linking Words
, the filled soft drinks are stored in the drinking machines and ready to use in supermarkets. After using these packages they are again
again
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
recycled.
Submitted by ishanisachithra3 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words aluminium with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Recycling bins
  • Collection centers
  • Sorting
  • Debris
  • Compacting
  • Molten aluminium
  • Purification
  • Ingots
  • Rolled
  • Manufactured
  • Distribution
  • Energy consumption
  • Efficiency
  • Lifecycle
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