Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

A number of individuals enjoy playing
computer
games
.
Although
there are some advantages accruing to video
games
, I believe the drawbacks involved more. On the plus side, science and technology have overcome everything and curriculum and
games
are not accepted. there are some positive points for people particularly children, who spend most of their time on the screen of their high-tech devices; they have an opportunity to become skilful in
computer
.
Moreover
, by learning
computer
competencies children will become more innovative because they have a chance to learn new skills via
computer
games
; which is more enjoyable and motivating. Leading to making them high-spirited to do their tasks through their gadget tools and equipment.
For instance
, my younger brother who had an intense enthusiasm for glueing to the screen of his laptop, eventually, became an academically qualified engineer.
However
,
computer
games
have serious consequences.
Which individuals
Correct pronoun usage
Individuals
show examples
, particularly children get used to doing their tasks by clicking the bottom, are more likely to face many illnesses,
due to
their sedentary lifestyle.
Furthermore
, after the Coronavirus pandemic, became isolated;
due to
the fact that the vast majority of people have learnt to make me-time at home, which is really detrimental to their in-person communications.
For example
, recently teenagers have more desire to be in touch with their friends or family through virtual platforms.
Therefore
, they prefer to have a competition in online
games
instead
of playing in-person
games
. I totally believe that these kinds of
games
are harmful and they may have a negative impact on every individual.
To conclude
, dealing with
computer
games
can be both rewarding and problematic.
Submitted by kimiaakhyani67 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Ensure that your introduction sets the context for the topic and includes a clear thesis statement that directly addresses the question. In the body paragraphs, clearly outline the arguments for and against video games and then clearly state your position. End with a conclusion that summarises your main points and restates your opinion. This will help in making your essay more cohesive and provide a clear structure.
cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs. This can enhance the logical flow of your essay. Avoid repetition and aim for clear, concise sentences that contribute directly to the argument or point being made.
development
Work on developing your main points with clear and relevant examples. Each paragraph should introduce a clear main idea, provide support for that idea, and then link to the overall argument of the essay. Avoid general statements and try to use specific examples to illustrate your points effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: