Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
The pros and cons
about
multidisciplinary learning Change preposition
of
students
had
led to a debate. Some sides agree that mastering various Wrong verb form
have
subjects
will provide wider
Correct article usage
a wider
careers
path in the future whilst some groups suggest studying irrelevant Change the noun form
career
subjects
will only waste students
' time
. Therefore
, this
essay will further
analyze the justifications of both views before concluding.
On the one hand, in terms of jobs
competition, it is understandable that candidates with better knowledge and insight are more Change the noun form
job
appeal
to the recruiters. With the experiences of Wrong verb form
appealing
learn
different Change the verb form
learning
subjects
, multidisciplinary learning students
are more attractive to the company. For example
, in United
States, some companies have stated: Correct article usage
the United
they
will choose employees who Correct word choice
that they
eager
to learn something new even Add a missing verb
are eager
it
is not related Correct word choice
if it
with
their previous degree. Change preposition
to
Hence
, many students
sacrifice their time
in order to attend other courses.
On the other hand
, a lot of students
insist with
Change preposition
on
this
movement. Beside cut
their Change preposition
Besides cutting
time
, some resist that they have been in
a hard Verb problem
having
time
to survive
with their current major so Change the verb form
surviving
that
it is impossible for them to add Correct word choice
apply
another courses
. Take a look at what currently happening in South Korea, the Replace the adjective
another course
other courses
students
' suicidal rate
are increasing because they are forced to learn Fix the agreement mistake
rates
subjects
they do not really like. With
these reasons, Change preposition
For
this
condition is seems
like Change the verb form
seems
an unethical situations
.
In conclusion, Correct the article-noun agreement
unethical situations
an unethical situation
multidisciplinary
learning system is thought to be a good innovation for the Correct article usage
a multidisciplinary
students
. However
, some students
can not handle this
system with
Change preposition
apply
the
and Correct article usage
apply
affect
their depression rate. Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
In
the end of the day, it is the Change the preposition
At
students
' responsibility to decide what they want to study. As an adult, we should support whatever their choice and make sure their health and happiness are the priority.Submitted by farrandyerza on
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task achievement
Your essay covered the topic from different perspectives, which is good for a complete response, but it could be more nuanced. Expand on the ideas by discussing the implications or effects on students' lives in more detail.
task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the question being addressed and include a thesis statement to indicate your own opinion. Your conclusion should also restate your opinion and summarize the main points.
task achievement
Increase the relevance and depth of your examples by providing specific, concrete instances. Instead of broad references, such as the mention of the United States or South Korea, cite research or statistics that support your argument.
coherence cohesion
For coherence, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, and use a range of conjunctions and cohesive devices to link these ideas within and across paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
To improve cohesion, develop a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Each paragraph should flow naturally from one to the next, and the overall argument should build to a clear conclusion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?