Many studies have shown that most criminals have a low level of education. Some people say that to reduce the crime rate, criminals must be educated within prisons. It will improve their prospects of employment when they are released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Majority
of people are talking about the Correct article usage
The majority
crime
rate which is
rapidly growing Wrong verb form
has been
from
Change preposition
in
last
few decades, Correct article usage
the last
however
few of them Add a comma
however,
believes
, it can Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
be handle
Change the verb form
be handled
,
if government provide Remove the comma
apply
education
in the caves to those who commit crime
. Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
Similarly
, I too agree with this
idea due to
change
in their views and Correct article usage
the change
thought
.
To commence with the former argument, people mainly did Correct subject-verb agreement
thoughts
crime
to complete their basic facilities like food, Add an article
the crime
shelther
to cover their head and so on. Needless to say, unemployment is the major cause behind Correct your spelling
shelter
this
, nonetheless
Add a comma
nonetheless,
this
can be control
with the Change the verb form
be controlled
aids
of authority because they can easily open and increase the number of Fix the agreement mistake
aid
job
in the country so that every single citizen Change to a plural noun
jobs
have
work and earn some amount of money Correct subject-verb agreement
has
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
the
needs after 18. Change the word
their
Moreover
, they can devote the
food, clothes and other things Correct article usage
apply
in
every two months to maintain the piece in the area.
Probling Change preposition
apply
further
, education
and awareness is
the second major Correct subject-verb agreement
are
method
to tackle Fix the agreement mistake
methods
the
criminal activity, to explain Correct article usage
apply
it
deeply, Correct pronoun usage
apply
firstly
, if everyone is educated and having
Wrong verb form
has
skill
to open and develop their own business Change the article
the skill
then
they can happily live their life and even not commit any criminal work in their whole life. Hence
, this
thing only possible if government
Correct article usage
the government
given
Wrong verb form
gives
education
and business loan
to Fix the agreement mistake
loans
the
adult and Correct article usage
apply
encourage
them to Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
did
something in their life. Meanwhile, they can save the funds and Wrong verb form
do
taxs
which they invest Correct your spelling
taxes
tax
on
the area where they construct the prisons and other expensive Change preposition
in
also
.
In conclusion, although
, send
people Wrong verb form
sending
into
jail Change preposition
to
in
Correct your spelling
is
best
Correct article usage
the best
to
way to deal with them, Change preposition
apply
nevertheless
, I think, if law makers
want to cut the roots of Correct your spelling
lawmakers
crime
then
they must provide education
, awareness
, devote some base things and so on, Correct word choice
and awareness
by
these things the situations effectively handle.Change preposition
apply
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task achievement
Your introduction lacks a clear thesis statement explaining the extent of your agreement or disagreement. Make sure to include a precise thesis statement presenting your main argument.
task achievement
The body paragraphs should be more focused and cohesive. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea with subsequent sentences providing support for that main idea.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. Providing concrete examples helps to strengthen your ideas and makes your essay more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay could be improved. The ideas you present must flow naturally and logically from one to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to have a clear topic sentence for each paragraph, followed by explanations and examples that are well-connected to the topic sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points of the essay without introducing new ideas. Restate your thesis and give a final thought on the topic.