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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selelcting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relavant.

The chart below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selelcting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relavant.
#show #uk #graduate #students #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons #relavant
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The charts below
represents
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represent
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 information about
UK
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 graduate and postgraduate students who did not have
full time
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full-time
show examples
work
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 after education in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,it is evident that
UK
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 students have preferences about
Use synonyms
futher
Correct your spelling
further
study
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. To commence with the amount of graduate
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 who
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
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Use synonyms
futher
Correct your spelling
further
study
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 made up 29,665,respectively.Individuals with part-time
work
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 comprised 17,735.
Linking Words
Moreover
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Moreover,
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 when it comes to
unemlpoyment
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unemployment
 people,the
figires
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figures
 showed similar statistics with part-time
work
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,which accounted for 16,235.The
last
Linking Words
 one was voluntary
work
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 ,which made up 3,500. When it comes to
destination
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the destination
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 of
UK
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postgraduetes
Correct your spelling
postgraduates
postgraduate
,there is
similar
Add an article
a similar
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 trend with graduates.The highest point was
Use synonyms
futher
Correct your spelling
further
study
Use synonyms
,which accounted for 2,725.In the second
place
Add a comma
place,
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 there was part-time
work
Use synonyms
 with 2,535.The figures
of
Change preposition
for
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 unemployment made up 1,625,respectively.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
numbers
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number
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 of voluntary
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work
Replace the word
workers
show examples
 comprised 345,which was the lowest point in the statistics. It may be concluded from the charts that
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futher
Correct your spelling
further
study
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 is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 popular choice for students in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and in opposite voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 is the least popular.
Submitted by kassymov_99 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words uk, work, futher, study with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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