The graph shows the changing patterns of access to modern technology in homes in the UK (expressed in percentage terms).

The graph below illustrates the change in using of
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
connected devices in homes in the UK from the
year
1996 to the
year
2003.
Overall
, the percentage
all
Change preposition
of all
show examples
patterns of access witnessed an upward trend from
year
to
year
. In
particulier
Correct your spelling
particular
, the
figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
CD
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
were the highest.
Although
the Internet appeared latest
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
its datas increased in a rapid range.
CD
player
and
home
computer
were two patterns which increased steadily. In 1996,
CD
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
took up 60% - the top
figures
of 4 patterns of access. Its data rose marginally
time
Change preposition
from time
show examples
to time. And
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
reached the peaking point in 2003 with 81%.
Home
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
less
Add a missing verb
were less
show examples
in use
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
25% compared with the previous
figures
in 1996.
However
,
home
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
exprienced
Correct your spelling
experienced
an upward trend and peaked in 2003
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
nearly 60%. Take a look closer
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
the chart, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same trend
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
CD
Correct article usage
the CD
show examples
player
and
home
computer
,
2
Correct article usage
the 2
show examples
other
figures
had some differences. In the first 2 years, the percentage of mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
increased moderately from nearly 20% to 22% in use in the UK. And began from the end of 1999, the
figures
fluctuated until the
year
2001.
Besides
, in spite of being the latest pattern, the percentage of the Internet climbed from 15% in 1996 to over 40% in 2003.
Submitted by mai132004mai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, figures, cd, player, home, computer with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • digital divide
  • accessibility
  • ubiquitous computing
  • smart home devices
  • telecommunication
  • multi-purpose gadgets
  • innovation
  • connectivity
  • obsolete
  • trend analysis
  • consumer electronics
  • statistical data
  • percentile growth
  • demographics
  • chart interpretation
  • gadgets
  • integration
What to do next:
Look at other essays: