Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is an undeniable fact that a resume is necessary in order to apply for any
job
that portrays the individual's abilities through their fascination and hobbies despite being married or a bachelor. A ponder of people deem that it is beneficial;
however
, opponents disagree with
this
statement. Prior to developing any opinion, I would like to explain some factors in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
favour of both perspectives. To commence with, one of the plausible reasons is that a person's biodata assists the jobseekers in searching for a relevant
job
according to
one's field of interest. To put it simply, people can get to know more about the jobs opportunities, which are equivalent to them. Indeed,
for instance
, a famous website helps individuals find a
job
by uploading their resume and getting notifications about accurate jobs pertaining to their enthusiasm.
while
the competitors deem that providing personal information to the employer is not the
sagacious
Correct word choice
best
show examples
way to get enrolled in any
job
.
Since some
Correct word choice
Some
show examples
people make fake applications to get a
job
, leading to experiencing more hurdles at their workplace.
Furthermore
, some employer misuses the information of their employees which tends to create a problem for them. To recapitulate,
although
personal information is not compulsory to get a good
job
,
i
Capitalize word
I
show examples
intend to say that by getting it, the employer can learn more about their employees and their passion for work.
Submitted by jaspreetkaurdasuya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction/Conclusion
Be sure to provide a clear introduction of the topic, directly addressing the question posed. Also, ensure an appropriate conclusion is included to summarize your viewpoint and main arguments.
Logical Structure
Develop a clear logical structure by dividing your essay into clear paragraphs: an introduction, two or more body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should ideally contain one main idea and be cohesive with clear topic sentences.
Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the cohesion and flow of your essay. This will make it easier for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
Complete Response
Make sure your essay completely responds to all parts of the task. In discussion essays, discuss both viewpoints presented in the prompt fully and provide a clear personal opinion.
Clear and Comprehensive Ideas
Strive to express your ideas clearly and avoid ambiguity. This includes being precise in your explanations and choice of words.
Use of Examples
Incorporate relevant examples that are specific and effectively support your main points. These examples should be directly related to the topic and enhance your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: