IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

We should stop wasting money on alternative energy sources (for example, solar and wind power) because they are too unreliable to ever replace coal and oil. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#money #alternative #energy #sources #wind #power #oil
Alternative
energy
 sources are more and more popular
this days
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this day
these days
show examples
. People decide to instal them to be ego-friendy and use
reusuble
Correct your spelling
reusable
energy
. In my opinion
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solar and wind
power
 has a lot of
potentail
Correct your spelling
potential
 but they are not developed enough and are expensive,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they are not a waste of money
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 of their benefits. Personally,
this
 kind of
energy
 is a good and smart investment
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 it is a future
of
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apply
show examples
power
source
. My opinion is motivated by
modernisation
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the modernisation
show examples
 of the world. We can see that
everythink
Correct your spelling
everything
 is now
doing
Correct your spelling
going
show examples
 to
electric
Add a missing verb
be electric
show examples
. The other
advandage
Correct your spelling
advantage
 is eco-friendly
energy
 production,
beacuse
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because
 our planet is
pollutit
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polluted
pollutant
 enough
from
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by
show examples
 all the machines and littering. So it is a good way to give
Add an article
the earth
show examples
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
 a rest from all of that. The first
disadvanage
Correct your spelling
disadvantage
 is that
this
 kind of
source
 is not developed to be bought is
this
 time. The system is still in
process
Correct article usage
the process
show examples
 of
geting
Correct your spelling
getting
 better so right now it is hard to replace coal and oil.
Therefore
, the cost of buying and intalation of alternative
energy
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 is very high, so not
every one
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everyone
show examples
 is capable
to
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of
show examples
effort
Verb problem
doing
show examples
 that.
Is
Correct your spelling
As
show examples
 we can see the
re-useble
Correct your spelling
re-useable
re-usable
power
source
 has
advandages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 and
disadvadages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 but in my point of view the benefit of wind and solar
power
 are much more powerful.
Feathermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
i
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I
show examples
 think that
earth
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
 and pollution
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 very important in our times and we should do everything to reduce that.
Submitted by alicja.gebarowska on

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task achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, be sure to answer the question prompt fully and provide a clear opinion throughout. Your essay should directly address whether spending on alternative energy is a waste and why.
coherence and cohesion
A more coherent logical structure would benefit your essay. Link your ideas clearly and make use of cohesive devices (e.g., however, moreover, therefore) to help your argument flow better from one point to the next.
task achievement
Your main points are supported, but they could be strengthened with specific examples and evidence. Whenever you make a point about the advantages or disadvantages of alternative energy, try to back it up with facts, figures, or real-world examples.
language
There are quite a few spelling and grammatical mistakes within your essay. Proofreading your work before submitting could help you catch these errors, which would improve the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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