Nowadays more people are choosing to live with their friends or alone rather than with their families, this trend is likely to have a negative impact on community. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contemporay
Correct your spelling
contemporary
society
Add a comma
society,
show examples
it is a fact that many
people
choose to live with their friends or alone.The
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
behind
this
are varied.
People
now days
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
live in a fast pace society and they prefer privacy over anything.On the
contraty
Correct your spelling
contrary
family intend the presence of their loved ones.
However
personal
chpoices
Correct your spelling
choices
choice
and freedom
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
to be given priority .
I
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
this
essay
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both views and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will try to
dervive
Correct your spelling
derive
survive
drive
a conclusion First of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
living with
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
or alone brings a lot of freedom and independence in one's life.which is oxygen for some
people
.One can have ultimate joy and fun with
friend s
Correct your spelling
friends
show examples
which is
non judgemental
Add a hyphen
non-judgemental
show examples
and with
accepatance
Correct your spelling
acceptance
.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
show examples
they do not need to worry about time and money.Could
worlk
Correct your spelling
work
overnights or
sllep
Correct your spelling
sleep
whenever they
fel
Correct your spelling
felt
like.No
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
to answer
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any or abide by rules.Money can
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
show examples
on things of their choice.
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
they live a life of their own than
livin g
Correct your spelling
living
show examples
for someone's
chice
Correct your spelling
choice
nad
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
control.
On the
contrary
Add a comma
contrary,
show examples
there are certain
disadavantges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
. Mainly loose
contral
Correct your spelling
control
which can
laed
Correct your spelling
lead
to substance abuse and related consequences.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
they may tend to make poor decisions
due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of
experiencd
Correct your spelling
experienced
experience
people's
Correct word choice
and people's
show examples
support and guidance. Friends will only advise considering the happiness of
people
byt family will assess the outcome or impact of
decions
Correct your spelling
decisions
.which will help
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
refrain from troubles.
Finally
family always consider the best for
thie
Correct your spelling
the
their
children.
To conclude
there are
alwys
Correct your spelling
always
advantages and
disadvatges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
living with friends ,but
this
will make
people
more independent and they get opportunities to
laern
Correct your spelling
learn
from their
mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
show examples
.
Hence
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
conclude that living with
friend s
Correct your spelling
friends
show examples
anr
Correct your spelling
and
alone has more
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
than living with family.
Submitted by nairbiji78 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Make sure to have a clear introduction that presents the topic and your position unequivocally, and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and reaffirms your position. Your introduction and conclusion were present but could be clearer.
logical structure
Develop a structured approach to essay writing, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all paragraphs logically flow from one to the next. Utilize linking words and phrases to aid in the transition between ideas.
supported main points
Support each main point with specific examples or reasons. While you did provide some explanations, more detailed examples would strengthen your arguments.
complete response
Address all parts of the task prompt and ensure that your response is complete. It is critical to not only outline the advantages and disadvantages but also to directly address how the trend impacts the community, as asked in the prompt.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive to express your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Work on sentence structure and vocabulary to avoid ambiguities and to clarify your points.
relevant specific examples
Use concrete and relevant examples to support your viewpoint. Your examples should be specific and directly related to your main points to be effective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • community cohesion
  • individualism
  • shared accommodation
  • societal norms
  • isolation
  • interpersonal relationships
  • nuclear family
  • extended family
  • housemates
  • co-living
  • social fabric
  • support network
  • globalisation
  • multigenerational living
  • self-sufficiency
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!