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Writing Samples
Band 5

These days, people work in more than one job, and often change career seversl times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#people #work #job #change #career #seversl #times #life
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To get
Change the verb form
Getting
show examples
 into a perfect career seems to be difficult nowadays as compared to past
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
. People try new
things
 with the
change
 in
time
. It is generally seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 a normal guy
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 more than one job and after
sometime
Replace the word
some time
show examples
 he
change
Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
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 the entire field.
This
 essay will present the pros and drawbacks of the given notion.
To begin
 it, after the inflation in economics,
things
 have changed a lot. It got hard to afford something from the market because of
this
change
.
As a result
,
person
Add an article
a person
show examples
 do multiple jobs at a
time
 to fulfill his
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
their family
her family
his family
show examples
family
Change noun form
family's
show examples
 needs.
However
,
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 he has to
also
change
 the line in order
tto
Correct your spelling
to
 get money. The most
prefferable
Correct your spelling
preferable
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
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 doing so is,
he
Correct word choice
that he
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 can adapt
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 changes and can try new
things
everytime
Replace the word
every time
show examples
.
This
things
Change the determiner
thing
show examples
 leads the
person
 to learn many
things
along with
 the pay. As he goes into
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 field, he gets to know about new
things
.
For example
, to try something new, many youngsters try to work at different places with
wide
Add an article
a wide
show examples
 range of rules and regulations.
This
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
 them to get into new
things
 within a short span of
time
.
In contrast
, It consumes a lot of
time
. If a
person
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 working in the same field
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a very long
time
 and
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has decided to go with the
change
,
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 at
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 place he try new
things
 and
to get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
master
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 skills, it requires a plenty amount of
time
.
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
show examples
 it
also
 shows
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 effect on the income which he gets from one place.
For instance
, If a guy is at
senior
Correct article usage
a senior
show examples
 post
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 he might be earning a high salary. But after some
time
, if he
decide
Change the verb form
decides
show examples
 to move on with
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 thing,
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 he has to start again from the basic pay.
However
,those who do
this
also
 face
problem
Add an article
the problem
a problem
show examples
 of money after a span of
time
.
To Conclude
, Even though
change
Add an article
the change
a change
show examples
 in job offers benefits, there are
also
 some cons which can't be negotiated at some point.
Moreover
, it
also
 depends on the
person
's belief, whether he wants to continue with the same job for his whole life or enjoy the moment by changing it
oftenly
Correct your spelling
often
.
Submitted by hlife4454 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Introduce your main ideas more clearly in the introduction. This helps set expectations for the reader and makes your argument more cohesive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and use clear topic sentences to introduce these ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by using a variety of transition words effectively.
Task Response
Fully address all parts of the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally, and make sure your conclusion summarizes these effectively.
Task Response
Enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas by expanding on them with specific, detailed examples.
General
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation, as errors in these areas can make your essay difficult to understand and detract from its overall coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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