Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobsfor personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Today it is

common

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a common

show examples

belief that there are some

requierments

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requirements

to mention

about

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apply

show examples

private

information

Use synonyms

when applying for

job

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the job

a job

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whilst some think that it is not

neccessary

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necessary

. I firmly believe that it is totally appropriate for employers to be aware of

social

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the social

show examples

characteristics of their employees. Both views will be discussed in

this

Linking Words

essay. On the one hand, every

potentional

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potential

worker has own

rights

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right

show examples

to protect private

life

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and to keep certain

kind

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kinds

show examples

information

Use synonyms

confidentially

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confidential

show examples

. There are some considerable reasons

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apply

show examples

which

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why

show examples

individuals prefer not to share about their maternal status,

for instance

Linking Words

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it should be emphasized that some individuals can be with

introversial

Correct your spelling

controversial

introversion

traits of character, who find

Correct pronoun usage

it unneccessary

show examples

unneccessary

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unnecessary

to declare their hobbies and interests. To give

illustration

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an illustration

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, there are

numereous

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numerous

successfull

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successful

personalities, who keep their personal

life

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private and lead

confidentional

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confidential

conventional

lifestyle.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, one should not forget that every organization should be aware of additional

information

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about their employees in case of accidents and it is significant for both sides, especially in safety

procautions

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precautions

Moreover

Linking Words

, some

information

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about hobbies and interests can play

crucial

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a crucial

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role in

social

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the social

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life

Use synonyms

of workers within their organization.

Besides

Linking Words

, it is a great opportunity for workers to make friends based on common interests and hobbies and even to involve family members in

the

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apply

show examples

social events in the framework of

workplace

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the workplace

show examples

In addition

Linking Words

, there are some

kind

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kinds

show examples

of jobs

such

Linking Words

as related to

Correct article usage

the miliitary

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miliitary

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military

or media, which might require to move to

another locations

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another location

other locations

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and in

such

Linking Words

cases single workers are welcomed more. It may be concluded from

this

Linking Words

essay, that despite the fact that every worker owns rights

for

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show examples

private

life

Use synonyms

, it is much more crucial to mention additional personal

information

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when enrolling

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on a

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new job

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apply

show examples

because

benefits

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the benefits

show examples

outwheigh

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outweigh

drawbacks

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the drawbacks

show examples

this

Linking Words

given topic.

kassymov_99Mon Feb 12 2024

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Introduction Improvement

Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance on it. While your introduction outlines the discussion, it could be more explicitly stated.

Coherence Improvement

Improve coherence by linking ideas more effectively using a range of cohesive devices. While your essay has structure, transitions between points could be smoother for enhanced readability.

Support Points

Develop your main points with more detailed examples. While you mention some reasons and consequences, providing specific, real-life instances can strengthen your argument.

Conclusion Improvement

Ensure your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. Your conclusion does wrap up the essay, but refining it to more clearly reflect the essay's content and your viewpoint can make your argument more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural fit
team dynamics
company culture
integration
professional setting
leadership potential
personal commitments
discrimination
bias
professional abilities
qualifications
privacy invasion
negative perception
top talent
unconscious bias
legal liabilities

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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobsfor personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a positive development or a negative one? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples fromyour own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

In the past, knowledge was contained in books , Nowadays is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages pf this outweigh the advantages

Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?