Should companies ensure that they employ a quota (or fixed percentage) of women in all jobs, or is this an impractical concept? Discuss both sides of this debate, and reach a conclusion based on your own opinion.

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Employing
a
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an
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allotment of
female
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females
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has become a debate among businesses. It is argued whether the idea is a realistic one or an unachievable idea. I fully agree that organizations need to set
a
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an
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allotment for
women
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in all occupations. There are some potential advantages when applying
a
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an
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allotment in one company.
For example
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, mandatory quotas can ensure diversity.
Due to
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this
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, there will be better innovations because
women
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can bring other perspectives and a range of
talent
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talents
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.
Moreover
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, quotas can encourage
women
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to pursue careers in fields where they are underrepresented. It can help
women
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against unconscious bias so that they will get fairer opportunities in hiring. From the economic side, research indicates that enterprises with greater gender diversity have higher profitability and return on equity.
While
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,
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apply
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there are a lot of positive impacts, one policy will always have the other edge of the sword. Some folks argue
this
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could potentially lead to less competent workers being appointed and tokenism risk where
women
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are chosen to fill the allocation but lack competencies and skills.
Although
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these are valid concerns, these problems can be tackled by the company to actively seek out and nurture qualified female talent that might have been overlooked previously.
Thus
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, I believe that the positive advantages of setting up a quota are more significant in society than the potential drawbacks.
To conclude
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, implementing quotas puts industries and society at an advantage. I,
therefore
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, agree that corporations should set up their quota policies,
thus
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giving
women
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an equal chance in the workforce
Submitted by meilyfransiska on

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Introduction Clarity
Make sure to present a clear introduction that clearly outlines the points that you will discuss. The introduction should provide a brief overview of the topic and your stance.
Detail and Example Enhancement
Develop your main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples. While you have touched on several advantages and disadvantages, expanding on these with more concrete details would strengthen your argument.
Structural Coherence
Work on your essay's structure to enhance its logical flow. This includes organizing your paragraphs effectively, with a clear topic sentence for each paragraph followed by supporting information.
Effective Conclusion
Conclude your essay by summarizing your main points and restating your opinion clearly. This helps to reinforce your argument and provides a clear ending to your discussion.
Grammar and Spelling
Be cautious of grammar and spelling errors. While these are not heavily detracting from your overall message, addressing these will polish your essay and make it more professional.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • quota
  • diversity
  • historical imbalances
  • meritocracy
  • underrepresented
  • gender inequality
  • tokenism
  • administrative challenge
  • nuanced policies
  • rigid
  • complement
  • disparity
  • implementation
  • context
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