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Writing Samples
Band 7

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#first #percentages #women #men #country #kinds #home #tasks #pet #house #second #amount #time #gender #information #features #comparisons
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The first bar chart provides an oveview of the percentage of
women
 and
men
 in a country who participat in different houework,
while
 the second bar chart detail the distibution of
time
 daily for each gender for variou task.
Overall
, the proportion of
men
 particpating in
home
repair
 is higher than
women
,
while
 the propotion of
men
 participating in cooking and cleaning is lower than
women
. In
adition
Correct your spelling
addition
,
women
's average
time
 spent on
home
repair
 is lower than
men
's. The rate of
men
paricipating
Correct your spelling
participating
 in
home
repair
 is about 10% higher than
women
,
while
 the
men
 participating in pet care is 2% higher than
women
. In
contrat
Correct your spelling
contrast
, the proportion of
men
 participating in cleaning work is about 21% lower than that of
women
 and the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
promotion
 of
men
 participating in cooking is about 25% lower than
women
.
Women
's average
time
 spent on
home
repair
 is about 10 minutes less than
men
's,
while
 the average
time
 spent taking care of pets is about the same for both.
Furthermore
, the average
time
 spent cleaning by
women
 is 20 minutes higher than
men
 and the average
time
 spent cooking by
women
 is about 25 minutes higher than
men
.
Submitted by lyhuongclc on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, men, time, home, repair with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
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