IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#first #percentages #women #men #country #kinds #home #tasks #pet #house #second #amount #time #gender #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The first bar chart provides an oveview of the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 in a country who participat in different houework,
while
Linking Words
 the second bar chart detail the distibution of
time
Use synonyms
 daily for each gender for variou task.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of
men
Use synonyms
 particpating in
home
Use synonyms
repair
Use synonyms
 is higher than
women
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the propotion of
men
Use synonyms
 participating in cooking and cleaning is lower than
women
Use synonyms
. In
adition
Correct your spelling
addition
,
women
Use synonyms
's average
time
Use synonyms
 spent on
home
Use synonyms
repair
Use synonyms
 is lower than
men
Use synonyms
's. The rate of
men
Use synonyms
paricipating
Correct your spelling
participating
 in
home
Use synonyms
repair
Use synonyms
 is about 10% higher than
women
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the
men
Use synonyms
 participating in pet care is 2% higher than
women
Use synonyms
. In
contrat
Correct your spelling
contrast
, the proportion of
men
Use synonyms
 participating in cleaning work is about 21% lower than that of
women
Use synonyms
 and the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
promotion
 of
men
Use synonyms
 participating in cooking is about 25% lower than
women
Use synonyms
.
Women
Use synonyms
's average
time
Use synonyms
 spent on
home
Use synonyms
repair
Use synonyms
 is about 10 minutes less than
men
Use synonyms
's,
while
Linking Words
 the average
time
Use synonyms
 spent taking care of pets is about the same for both.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the average
time
Use synonyms
 spent cleaning by
women
Use synonyms
 is 20 minutes higher than
men
Use synonyms
 and the average
time
Use synonyms
 spent cooking by
women
Use synonyms
 is about 25 minutes higher than
men
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by lyhuongclc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words women, men, time, home, repair with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: