Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other think that, in todays world subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

The debate over the importance of school
subjects
has been a contentious one. Some individuals argue that
History
holds significant value in the curriculum,
while
others believe that contemporary
subjects
such
as
Science
and
Technology
are more pertinent in today’s
world
.
This
essay will discuss
both
viewpoints before concluding with my own perspective. Proponents of
History
argue that
this
subject is crucial as it provides
students
with a comprehensive understanding of the past, which can help shape the future. By studying historical events,
students
can learn about different cultures, civilizations, and the mistakes made in the past,
thus
fostering a sense of global citizenship and preventing the repetition of past errors.
For instance
, studying
World
War II can teach
students
about the devastating effects of conflict and the importance of diplomacy and peace.
On the other hand
, advocates for
Science
and
Technology
argue that these
subjects
are more relevant to the rapidly evolving
world
. They believe that in an era dominated by technological advancements and scientific discoveries, equipping
students
with knowledge in these fields is essential.
This
knowledge not only prepares
students
for a wide range of career opportunities in sectors
such
as IT, engineering, and biotechnology but
also
enables them to understand and adapt to the technological changes in their daily lives. In my opinion,
both
History
and
Science
and
Technology
have their own importance and should be included in the school curriculum.
While
Science
and
Technology
prepare
students
for the future and the job market,
History
offers invaluable lessons from the past.
Therefore
, a balanced approach in teaching
both
sets of
subjects
would provide
students
with a well-rounded education. In conclusion,
while
some people
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
History
for its lessons from the past, others prefer
Science
and
Technology
for their relevance in today’s
world
.
However
, I believe that a comprehensive education system should include
both
to equip
students
with a broad spectrum of knowledge.
Submitted by serginio.nick on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a well-balanced view, discussing both sides of the argument effectively, and concludes with your personal opinion. However, to improve your score, ensure that your introduction more clearly outlines the specific views being discussed. This sets a clear stage for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, create better transitions between paragraphs. Use a wider range of linking phrases to enhance the flow of ideas. Additionally, you can improve the organization of paragraphs by ensuring each one focuses on a specific point or argument. This will make your essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Your examples, such as the reference to World War II, are good but could be further expanded to show deeper understanding and analysis. Providing more detailed examples and explaining their relevance will strengthen your arguments and the persuasive power of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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