IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Average percentage of sodium, saturated fats and added sugar in typical meals consumed in the USA.

#percentage #sodium #fats #sugar #meals #usa
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie diagrams illustrate three kinds of unhealthy substances in food, which may be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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 wellness.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest percentage of nutrients
of
Change preposition
in
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 dinner
about
Add a missing verb
is about
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 forty per
cent
Use synonyms
 of sodium and saturated fat.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, added
sugar
Use synonyms
 is one of the junk components of breakfast amount forty-two per
cent
Use synonyms
 of the total. The first two charts demonstrate
us
Change preposition
to us
show examples
 the quantity of sodium and saturated fat in different types of meals. One can
be observed
Wrong verb form
observe
show examples
 that the number of each
nutrients
Change to a singular noun
nutrient
show examples
 are similar.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the highest percentage of the nutrients is in breakfast almost forty per
cent
Use synonyms
 of all.
Then
Linking Words
, other dishes constitute more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of the total. The
last
Linking Words
 diagram illustrates the addition of
sugar
Use synonyms
 to food. The biggest
Use synonyms
sugar adding
Add a hyphen
sugar-adding
show examples
 is in snacks, a little less than
a
Correct article usage
apply
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forty-fifths. Following that,
Use synonyms
sugar
Correct article usage
the sugar
show examples
 appending percentage in dinner, breakfast and lunch approximately twenty per
cent
Use synonyms
. In fact,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 great deal of supplements are contained in the morning meals.
Submitted by 6atb8k on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and include a conclusion to summarize your main points. This will help achieve a more effective structure.
Coherence & Cohesion
When presenting data, make sure to maintain a logical flow between paragraphs and use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas and paragraphs together.
Task Achievement
Aim to fully address the task by ensuring all parts of the prompt are answered thoroughly. Provide a balanced comparison of the data provided.
Task Achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your main ideas by providing specific examples and data from the graphs wherever possible. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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