Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
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It is true that
computer
technology
has been
significantly altered individuals' Unnecessary verb
apply
lives
, including interaction with others, medical research and the
transport systems, yet it brings detrimental Correct article usage
apply
effect
to these fields. In my view, I completely agree that Fix the agreement mistake
effects
heavily
dependence on Change the word
heavy
computer
technology
would pose substantial risks.
There is no denying that computer
technology
greatly improves our lives
. Firstly
, computers have diminished the geographical barriers in
communication. A variety of social media and communication apps allow Change preposition
to
people
to interact with each other in different places and even different countries. This
enhances individuals' view
and broadens their understanding with diverse insight. Fix the agreement mistake
views
Secondly
, computer
technology
has increased the efficiency and efficacy in
medical research. Researchers can collect and analyse Change preposition
of
data
easier
with the help of computers as more calculations or mistakes may be made by Rephrase
more easily
people
. Finally
, navigation in the transport system has never been much easier with the assistance of satellites and maps.
However
, there are some risks when people
are over reliance
on Add a hyphen
over-reliance
computer
technology
. Data
leakage will be one of the most dangerous situation
, especially in Change to a plural noun
situations
medical
field. Add an article
the medical
Data
leakage in medical companies may cause data
of
new Change preposition
on
medicine
Fix the agreement mistake
medicines
Fix the infinitive
to falls
falls
into the wrong Correct subject-verb agreement
fall
hand
, which may lead to an increase Fix the agreement mistake
hands
of
drug crime in the world. Apart from that, Change preposition
in
people
's privacy may also
be harmed, as personal details are collected by others and cyberbullying worsens the case. Besides
, highly relying
on Replace the word
high reliance
computer
technology
could cause trouble in transport
system when the Correct article usage
the transport
system's
breakdown. Change noun form
system
For instance
, traffic light
will not function properly and wrong navigation of cars. Fix the agreement mistake
lights
This
causes severe road accidents and putting people
's lives
at risk.
In conclusion, computer
technology
has a great impact in
our Change preposition
on
lives
and has made our lives
more convenient. While
it has many advantages on
many fields, we should be alert about our dependence on the Change preposition
in
technology
as it will create a risky situation when we are highly reliance
on it.Replace the word
reliant
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Task Achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your standpoint. While your introduction did well in this aspect, enhancing it with a more concise thesis statement could improve clarity.
Task Achievement
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Coherence & Cohesion
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